There has been a huge change in Rob and I in the past few weeks that I really want to share because it was life changing. I got a phone call one night saying that Robert was having a Diabetic emergency at work and that he was being taken to the ER. I was stunned. I immediately became disorganized and a bit panicky. Rob had the car and the Hospital was right next door to his Lab so I had to get rid of the kids and find a ride. His sister got me to him and when I finally made it he was not my Robert. So white and frail. Confused and scared was an understatement. He about cried when I told him it was almost 11 and that it took me a couple hours to get to him. He had no concept of time. It only took me a few minutes to realize that this was no ordinary visit. He was in bad shape and I soon would discover how close I had come to becoming a widow. We both came to realize how deadly low blood sugar is and that nothing mattered anymore but Life. I stayed in the hospital with him that night. He wouldn't tell me but I saw the fear in his eyes of being left alone. At one point the next morning he asked me to pray for him and as I tried to we both ended up in tears overwhelmed with the gift we had been given. Life! We were taking it for granted, an ice tea and some cheese saved my husbands Life that night. His sugar was so low that despite his efforts to raise it the tea and cheese weren't fast enough. He passed out in a room where no one saw him or found him. When he woke 2 hours later it took everything in his power to make it to a hallway where someone would find him. He later told me that he knew he would die if he didn't get out of that room. Life is so precious. We realized that it is so easy to get caught up in the next church function or the next bill to pay that we forget to tell those around us what they mean to us.
This weekend was even more encouraging. We attended a marriage retreat and after what we had just been through it was super encouraging to us. We were already cleaving to each other but when you know that God just taught us a huge lesson in cherishing life, we realized that wether we have new shoes is no longer important. Arguing is a waste of time that we can't get back. If God can provide Rob with life once again He will provide for us again in other ways. He gave us tools this weekend to go along with our new lessons in life. The week after his visit to the hospital we just enjoyed our family, completely loved on each other. After this weekend we have tools to keep it going.
I did learn something about my husband tonight that humbled me and broke my heart. If we lived in Bible times we would have been the scoffers the people that shouted "Crucify Him"! I am convinced of this. But be that we live now and we know who He is what if you had to travel back in time and be the one that nailed his hands and feet to the cross? My husband told me tonight that he did that. In an Easter cantata many years ago he had the job of nailing his Savior to the cross. God gave Him an understanding like no other. It felt real and has made him have a love for Christ that I can't comprehend. He loves that His savior didn't stay in the tomb. However Easter time is the hardest time of year to get through. He has a pain that grows because of the job he had been given. The Loud clank as the hammer hits the Giant nail, rings in His head! It grows louder and louder until Easter Sunday when it stops every year because of the Celebration that our Redeemer is Alive!!!! I don't understand the anguish he must go through every year knowing and feeling as if he killed the perfect man that came to die for the sinner like me and himself. I now have a deeper connection with my Lord and now have a deeper respect for my husband because God gave him a gift. A gift like no other a piece of God himself and the anguish He himself felt as He watched His perfect Son die for all man kind. It may have only been a Cantata, but it is just one more thing that made Robert who he is today. I'm glad he's mine.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for the gift of life and thank you for your Son. Thank you for my gift, my husband! Thank you for His gifts that he shares with me.
