15 years ago almost exactly I sat down in an algebra class with a bunch of "brains". I was 12 and a boy sat next to me and a boy sat behind me. One was Randy Rankin and the other Taylor Sutton. It was the first day of 7th grade and I was nervous. "Hey are you going to choir practice on Wednesday?" I was a bit confused as to who started the conversation and I certainly didn't know they were talking to me. They told me they had seen me at church. Randy wanted to know if I sang and this started a friendship that lasted through high school. We've kept in touch through facebook. Then he, a couple years ago played Joseph in a musical production for Christmas. He is the oldest of 7 boys and I always admired his mother.
Went to a Chinese buffet today for lunch and Robby's fortune cookie read "you don't know what water is worth until the well runs dry".
I have lost 75% of my hearing is due to an infection and when I will get it back nobody knows. My world is quieter yes but there are things I can't hear hardly at all like birds chirping or thunder rolling. I miss these things. I can hear sound but not the words people are saying unless you yell. When I said I love you to Robert tonight the way I knew he replied was because his back vibrated. I've thought about my brother in law Allan who is deaf, a lot lately. How easy it is to communicate to someone but when I want them to communicate with me it's frustrating more than I know. I've complained about my ears a lot lately but I've also thought about that saying "you don't know what you got till its gone". My hearing was my water and my well started running a bit dry. Mine will hopefully be fixed soon.
But what if that water is the one thing that gives you life and beats in your chest? My friend Randy's little brother Garrett is 20 years old and has been told he needs a new heart. He goes in tomorrow morning to have a device implanted that will help take the stress off the left ventricle. It will buy him time to wait for a new heart. I think about my hearing and it's nothing compared to your heart slowly dying because of an infection that damaged it. How is it that his Dad got it awhile ago and his heart recovered and yet a 20 year old is waiting for a new heart. What would you do through a storm of this magnitude. I would pray but I also hope I would praise Him as the Rankin Family is. Thank Lord for Garrett you will do Great things through him. I pray you will bless his sleep and bless his life. Lord give his Doctors peace and guidance. Thank you for the privilege to pray with his team of warriors. We love you!
Meg
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Saturday, August 25, 2012
"Overwhelmed with You" part 2
So it's been a month since we went to SWPA and our hearts have been quieted but the excitement is still there. For a long time we couldn't even touch the application. It was such an overwhelming experience that even the envelope was overwhelming. So we need to get the Applications in this week but some of the questions have been difficult for me to answer. So pray for the Lords wisdom it's mainly the doctrinal nitty gritty questions that I'm having hard time with forming the answers and coming up with the biblical references to back them up. I am lucky to have a man that has started proving to me that he is way more knowledgable in his bible then me. That is for some people intimidating but for me that's encouraging and a comfort. So now I need to back up and tell you how God is still blessing us. Rob got word that his start date for his new job was the day we were leaving for the family Deep Creek camping trip so that meant Robert couldn't go. He sacrificed for us and I am so proud of him but there was a hole and he missed my birthday. However that week he made an impression with his bosses that is standing still and they are considering him for a supervisor position and he is only 3 weeks on the job. He went into this job after 5 years of not working a full time job due to illness and then under and unemployment. So he promised the Lord that he would go to work and Glorify the Lord in everything that he does and says. So now they are watching him and giving him situations to prove himself worthy of a supervisor position. Pray that he remains true to God and that he keeps up his stamina. They are short manned and Robs picking up the extra hours as overtime. Man am I proud to be his wife! I am overwhelmed with the blessings God is bestowing on us. Not to mention the awesome Call we've been given.
God has also been convicting me of the way I dress. I read a blog recently about a family of girls that only wear skirts. This is something I have always admired. This lady came up with biblical references on modesty that really hit my heart. It made me realize how easy it would be and I hope over the next few months you will see a difference in my dress. We won't force the issue on Ahna but we have talked to her in a kid friendly way about what mommy wants to do. I hope that setting an example she will decide for herself and either way we will respect her decision. I'm excited about the changes God is making in our lives. I hope you are too! Keep praying and I'll try to keep you more updated.
Meg
God has also been convicting me of the way I dress. I read a blog recently about a family of girls that only wear skirts. This is something I have always admired. This lady came up with biblical references on modesty that really hit my heart. It made me realize how easy it would be and I hope over the next few months you will see a difference in my dress. We won't force the issue on Ahna but we have talked to her in a kid friendly way about what mommy wants to do. I hope that setting an example she will decide for herself and either way we will respect her decision. I'm excited about the changes God is making in our lives. I hope you are too! Keep praying and I'll try to keep you more updated.
Meg
Friday, July 20, 2012
Overwhelmed with you
These last 2 weeks have been overwhelming for our little family and it's been nice to take a breather. Right now I am laying on my bed watching my littlest one take a nap next to me. I've been soaking up the scent of my husband from his pillow. He made me so proud this week. I am proud to be his. I am 10x more in love with him than I was last week. Our 2 weeks started with VBS where I was able to bring 16 children from the old neighborhood. Also one of the teen workers that volunteered to help made a decision for Christ that week. God was amazing that week. I feel like he was getting us ready for what was yet to come. Friday night we left for deep creek where my sister had rented a house for us to stay at. So the 8 of us came together and was just overwhelmed with Gods beauty in that place. Swallow falls was amazing and unbelievable. On monday Robert got a call, a job offer close to home that we have praising God over ever since and it was cool that my sister was with us for that. After a few days of shopping site seeing and enjoying the campfire it was time to depart for South West PA where Cornerstone ministry Center (CBM's camp) is located. We got to meet Judy Virgili, the director Mark, his wife Roberta and all the staff and volunteers. When we first got there Mark took us on a tour of the facilities .. When we had first got there, there was a photo album in the lobby and Rob and I looked through it before seeking out someone. The pictures of the camp before the renovations started were horrific you look at thAt book and then look up at the hallway and think "Wow Lord you truly are amazing".
When Mark started the tour He was on cloud 9 and told us some of the most amazing God stories we have ever heard. The campus was an old coal mine that had been donated to CBM. After that tour you could see God in every part of that building and could feel His presence everywhere. After going swimming and eating dinner with everyone (including 40 campers) we were called into the CBM office for an "informal meeting" with Judy who then called in a board member who was also a volunteer laborer. The conversation was 2 hours long. I watched as my husband answered question after question unwaveringly. The next morning it continued with another board member and his wife added to the panel and the conversation lasted an hour and a half. What we went up there for was as told to us as a meet and greet had turned into a 4 person panel interview. Did we feel it at the time? No. I'll tell you why. When Robert got a hold of Judy in May and told her that it was suggested by Carolyn King that Rob contact her we didn't know at the time but the week before he called the board member that was there for a first set of questions, had come to Judy and said "we really need to pray harder about the Lord bringing someone to maintain this place full time". So for a week they prayed and then Robert called. The board members name is Mel and he lives 30 miles away and can only commit to a couple days a week because of the commute. When we told Judy that we would come she told everyone and the prayers went from "bring someone Lord" to "we pray for the Moores that you guide them and you guides us Lord". We didn't know how big the need was until multiple people came up to us and said "we've been praying for you and I couldn't wait to meet you." I think It was meant to be a meet and greet but everyone was over excited anxious to see if this was Gods will. When we left on Wednesday we were so overwhelmed with Love that we drove a good while in silence. Letting God calm our fast beating hearts.
To be continued.....
When Mark started the tour He was on cloud 9 and told us some of the most amazing God stories we have ever heard. The campus was an old coal mine that had been donated to CBM. After that tour you could see God in every part of that building and could feel His presence everywhere. After going swimming and eating dinner with everyone (including 40 campers) we were called into the CBM office for an "informal meeting" with Judy who then called in a board member who was also a volunteer laborer. The conversation was 2 hours long. I watched as my husband answered question after question unwaveringly. The next morning it continued with another board member and his wife added to the panel and the conversation lasted an hour and a half. What we went up there for was as told to us as a meet and greet had turned into a 4 person panel interview. Did we feel it at the time? No. I'll tell you why. When Robert got a hold of Judy in May and told her that it was suggested by Carolyn King that Rob contact her we didn't know at the time but the week before he called the board member that was there for a first set of questions, had come to Judy and said "we really need to pray harder about the Lord bringing someone to maintain this place full time". So for a week they prayed and then Robert called. The board members name is Mel and he lives 30 miles away and can only commit to a couple days a week because of the commute. When we told Judy that we would come she told everyone and the prayers went from "bring someone Lord" to "we pray for the Moores that you guide them and you guides us Lord". We didn't know how big the need was until multiple people came up to us and said "we've been praying for you and I couldn't wait to meet you." I think It was meant to be a meet and greet but everyone was over excited anxious to see if this was Gods will. When we left on Wednesday we were so overwhelmed with Love that we drove a good while in silence. Letting God calm our fast beating hearts.
To be continued.....
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Jesus loves the little children all the children of the world!
What a day!
When you get a text saying your husband collapsed in the bathroom of the movie theatre there are so many things that go through your mind. Him and his brother went and took Robby to see the new spiderman movie. It was a gift to Robby for his birthday. Robert wasn't feeling well and went to the restroom but before he could make it to a stall the world started spinning and his chest got tight. He leaned against the wall and then passed out. It ended up being to much flexeril.
Going through these trials has made me weary at times and tonight was one of those. You have no words, you have no tears, your mind goes numb, and you just want to go to sleep and wake up with life far better than it is. Tonight however has been a bit different. Robert and I have been reading "through the eye of the storm" by Max Lacado. We are about nine chapters in and he brought up a good point that I haven't thought of much. Most people think of Jesus as God but they rarely view him as a man. He was fully man just as much as God. He scraped his knees and fell out of trees. His voice squeaked when it changed and he probably got pimples. If he was a teenager today he'd probably go mountain biking and parasailing. He was fully Human and new what pain was. He lost his best friend and cousin to being beheaded. Oh how he must have grieved for him. How his heart must have ached for John. He was tempted by Satan for 40 days. In my weariness I wonder how weary he became. Not giving up just being tired to the bone of it all. That's how I felt but at the same time not giving up and letting Satan take over. We are suppose to leave in just 9 days and Satan does not want us to go. Its not just this thing with Rob there are so many obsticles popping up it's ridiculous. I know we will be victorious in the end. I am holding onto the promises. I am also calling it out for what it is. These trials have been difficult to bare but I know I am not carrying them alone. The greater the trial the more glorious the victory! Satan doesn't want us to do what we want to do. We want to serve the Lord that's it we want rely on Him completely. We are practicing this now but it will become easier to trust him as we serve Him longer. God has laid a burden on our hearts and we want to be his tool in bringing more brothers and sisters into the kingdom. God gave Jesus the same burden but on a much larger scale so he understands. He knows what it feels like. But he knows temptation and trials as well. He has been where I am now. There is a lot of comfort in knowing that I serve a God that knows. Pray with us as we try to overcome the evil one . Pray that we become stronger. Pray for wisdom.
Meg
When you get a text saying your husband collapsed in the bathroom of the movie theatre there are so many things that go through your mind. Him and his brother went and took Robby to see the new spiderman movie. It was a gift to Robby for his birthday. Robert wasn't feeling well and went to the restroom but before he could make it to a stall the world started spinning and his chest got tight. He leaned against the wall and then passed out. It ended up being to much flexeril.
Going through these trials has made me weary at times and tonight was one of those. You have no words, you have no tears, your mind goes numb, and you just want to go to sleep and wake up with life far better than it is. Tonight however has been a bit different. Robert and I have been reading "through the eye of the storm" by Max Lacado. We are about nine chapters in and he brought up a good point that I haven't thought of much. Most people think of Jesus as God but they rarely view him as a man. He was fully man just as much as God. He scraped his knees and fell out of trees. His voice squeaked when it changed and he probably got pimples. If he was a teenager today he'd probably go mountain biking and parasailing. He was fully Human and new what pain was. He lost his best friend and cousin to being beheaded. Oh how he must have grieved for him. How his heart must have ached for John. He was tempted by Satan for 40 days. In my weariness I wonder how weary he became. Not giving up just being tired to the bone of it all. That's how I felt but at the same time not giving up and letting Satan take over. We are suppose to leave in just 9 days and Satan does not want us to go. Its not just this thing with Rob there are so many obsticles popping up it's ridiculous. I know we will be victorious in the end. I am holding onto the promises. I am also calling it out for what it is. These trials have been difficult to bare but I know I am not carrying them alone. The greater the trial the more glorious the victory! Satan doesn't want us to do what we want to do. We want to serve the Lord that's it we want rely on Him completely. We are practicing this now but it will become easier to trust him as we serve Him longer. God has laid a burden on our hearts and we want to be his tool in bringing more brothers and sisters into the kingdom. God gave Jesus the same burden but on a much larger scale so he understands. He knows what it feels like. But he knows temptation and trials as well. He has been where I am now. There is a lot of comfort in knowing that I serve a God that knows. Pray with us as we try to overcome the evil one . Pray that we become stronger. Pray for wisdom.
Meg
Sunday, June 24, 2012
What if your blessings comes through rain drops?
What if your healing comes thru tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights is what it takes to know your near?
What is contentment?
How do you be content in a bad situation?
If you know what changes need to be made to become content how do you accomplish those changes?
In philippians 4:11 Paul says that he has learned to be content in whatever state he is in. I having trouble understanding how he did it. How did he come to a place where he was content at being in prison or being ship wrecked? How did he become content being in the trials he faced. Rob and I knew that these trials we are facing right now would bring blessings at the end. They always do. The Lord however I believe is trying to teach me something a lot different this time and these are the questions he is asking me plus others. I'm asking Him So many questions and I feel he is humbling me. I have so many questions I feel I have no time to listen to his answer. I feel like I get 1 question answered and then 10 more pop up. God has laid on my heart many changes that need to be made and feel he is wanting me to take action and prepare my heart mind and soul for the changes he has in store for my family . The meeting we have at the camp is coming upon in just a few short weeks. God has called me to fast and pray. I'm not going to tell you what I am fasting and or how long because I don't want to be boastful. I am only writing this so that you know that My Faith is being challenged in a possitive way. If you want to pray for me know that God is humbling me and in doing so he is going to prepare me body, mind, and spirit for the changes ahead. I am going to use this time with the Lord to have Him help me change my devotion habits. My main purpose is that I need to focus on Him and there are things I need to listen too that He wants to teach me. I will be writing as I go through this journey to tell you what God reveals to me. Last time I fasted I did it along with my church. God revealed to me a lot about myself. This Time He wants me to so that I may Learn more about Him and His plan for me and my family. Robert has agreed with me and is prayerfully supporting me through this. I have also asked him to be open minded if God gives me His answers to my questions during my times of prayer. He agreed so pray that this is a time of growth for all of us. If you have questions feel free to message me on FB. Your prayers are gratefully appreciated.
What is contentment?
How do you be content in a bad situation?
If you know what changes need to be made to become content how do you accomplish those changes?
In philippians 4:11 Paul says that he has learned to be content in whatever state he is in. I having trouble understanding how he did it. How did he come to a place where he was content at being in prison or being ship wrecked? How did he become content being in the trials he faced. Rob and I knew that these trials we are facing right now would bring blessings at the end. They always do. The Lord however I believe is trying to teach me something a lot different this time and these are the questions he is asking me plus others. I'm asking Him So many questions and I feel he is humbling me. I have so many questions I feel I have no time to listen to his answer. I feel like I get 1 question answered and then 10 more pop up. God has laid on my heart many changes that need to be made and feel he is wanting me to take action and prepare my heart mind and soul for the changes he has in store for my family . The meeting we have at the camp is coming upon in just a few short weeks. God has called me to fast and pray. I'm not going to tell you what I am fasting and or how long because I don't want to be boastful. I am only writing this so that you know that My Faith is being challenged in a possitive way. If you want to pray for me know that God is humbling me and in doing so he is going to prepare me body, mind, and spirit for the changes ahead. I am going to use this time with the Lord to have Him help me change my devotion habits. My main purpose is that I need to focus on Him and there are things I need to listen too that He wants to teach me. I will be writing as I go through this journey to tell you what God reveals to me. Last time I fasted I did it along with my church. God revealed to me a lot about myself. This Time He wants me to so that I may Learn more about Him and His plan for me and my family. Robert has agreed with me and is prayerfully supporting me through this. I have also asked him to be open minded if God gives me His answers to my questions during my times of prayer. He agreed so pray that this is a time of growth for all of us. If you have questions feel free to message me on FB. Your prayers are gratefully appreciated.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Hush little baby don't say a word.......
Mama's gonna buy a mocking bird.
Remember that song?
8 years ago today I became a mother. Robby's pregnancy was tough. I showed really quickly and immediately started gaining weight. My last weigh in before he was born showed that I gained around 100lbs.
At 20 weeks I was put on medication and bed rest because my blood pressure was going up. I saw the dr. way more then the average pregnancy and at some point I was monitored 2-3 times a week to make sure that everything was going well with both of us. Rob and I were so excited and scared at the same time. At 7 months my sisters in law threw me a huge baby shower and I had no idea. 35 women from the church were there and most of them I didn't even know at the time. It was amazing and something I will never forget. At 34 weeks they had me start going to get sonograms to check my amnionic fluid every week.
At 38 weeks we realized that my blood pressure was once again not coming down and they decided that it was time to induce labor. We went in on Friday and I was so excited because I thought we may have a baby before fathers day. (Mom and dad were in California and we were in Md. and they were getting ready to leave to come out here. ) I asked Karrie, Robert's sister to step in and help in place of my mother. I was very excited and nervous and oh so swollen. I had Hobbit feet and wow was I uncomfortable. I was so ready. They started me on pitosin and cervadil and I had a few contractions here and there but nothing. So they upend the pitosin and that was the routine for the next 48 hours. I just did not want to go into labor. The dr. came in and said "ok you are only dialated to 1 I'm going to try to break your water but if I can't do it then we will have to do a c section." Amazingly enough it worked and soon there after the labor started. However when the contractions started, the build up of pitosin in my body caused me to have a constant contraction for 2 hours. It was horrible so against my better judgement I got an epidural. It totally knocked me out and I slept for 9 hours then when I woke up that morning I was dialated to 8. I went into transition and became sick and Karrie held my bucket. 2 hours later I was at a 9 and a half they waited 2 hours and I didn't go beyond that and the midwife called the dr. He said it was soft enough to push through so I started pushing. I pushed for 2 hours and was so tired and starting to doubt myself when Robert got excited and said "Doll I can see his head!" I than focused on Robert's face I tuned everything out. It was only Rob and I in the room and I'll never forget the tears glistening in his eyes and his whole face smiling. Thats all I needed to get me through those last couple pushes. Robby was beautiful and they let everyone in to see him right after I was cleaned up. Robert Edward Moore The 3rd, 8lbs 3ozs 21 inches long and very fine blonde hair. He made me a mom. My parents then left to come visit we stayed in the hospital for 3 days and it took that long to get Robby to eat. Because he hadn't eaten jaundice filled his little body and the day we were sent home they called us back because his numbers had climbed to high and he was under lights for a few days. We were discharged the same day my parents arrived and it was amazing to introduce all of them to not only to our new son but to my in law family too. He has always been a little man and so intuitive. In many things he has taken after my dad and I am glad. I love him. It's a blessing to be his mom.
I love you Robby Happy Birthday! Thank you Karrie for being there I am so glad you got to help in such a miracle.
Remember that song?
8 years ago today I became a mother. Robby's pregnancy was tough. I showed really quickly and immediately started gaining weight. My last weigh in before he was born showed that I gained around 100lbs.
At 20 weeks I was put on medication and bed rest because my blood pressure was going up. I saw the dr. way more then the average pregnancy and at some point I was monitored 2-3 times a week to make sure that everything was going well with both of us. Rob and I were so excited and scared at the same time. At 7 months my sisters in law threw me a huge baby shower and I had no idea. 35 women from the church were there and most of them I didn't even know at the time. It was amazing and something I will never forget. At 34 weeks they had me start going to get sonograms to check my amnionic fluid every week.
At 38 weeks we realized that my blood pressure was once again not coming down and they decided that it was time to induce labor. We went in on Friday and I was so excited because I thought we may have a baby before fathers day. (Mom and dad were in California and we were in Md. and they were getting ready to leave to come out here. ) I asked Karrie, Robert's sister to step in and help in place of my mother. I was very excited and nervous and oh so swollen. I had Hobbit feet and wow was I uncomfortable. I was so ready. They started me on pitosin and cervadil and I had a few contractions here and there but nothing. So they upend the pitosin and that was the routine for the next 48 hours. I just did not want to go into labor. The dr. came in and said "ok you are only dialated to 1 I'm going to try to break your water but if I can't do it then we will have to do a c section." Amazingly enough it worked and soon there after the labor started. However when the contractions started, the build up of pitosin in my body caused me to have a constant contraction for 2 hours. It was horrible so against my better judgement I got an epidural. It totally knocked me out and I slept for 9 hours then when I woke up that morning I was dialated to 8. I went into transition and became sick and Karrie held my bucket. 2 hours later I was at a 9 and a half they waited 2 hours and I didn't go beyond that and the midwife called the dr. He said it was soft enough to push through so I started pushing. I pushed for 2 hours and was so tired and starting to doubt myself when Robert got excited and said "Doll I can see his head!" I than focused on Robert's face I tuned everything out. It was only Rob and I in the room and I'll never forget the tears glistening in his eyes and his whole face smiling. Thats all I needed to get me through those last couple pushes. Robby was beautiful and they let everyone in to see him right after I was cleaned up. Robert Edward Moore The 3rd, 8lbs 3ozs 21 inches long and very fine blonde hair. He made me a mom. My parents then left to come visit we stayed in the hospital for 3 days and it took that long to get Robby to eat. Because he hadn't eaten jaundice filled his little body and the day we were sent home they called us back because his numbers had climbed to high and he was under lights for a few days. We were discharged the same day my parents arrived and it was amazing to introduce all of them to not only to our new son but to my in law family too. He has always been a little man and so intuitive. In many things he has taken after my dad and I am glad. I love him. It's a blessing to be his mom.
I love you Robby Happy Birthday! Thank you Karrie for being there I am so glad you got to help in such a miracle.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Great is thy faithfulness....
An Incident happened here tonight that got me thinking about what would happen if Robert died tomorrow. I had plenty to worry about when Robert had come close to death a few times. This incident and fathers day being tomorrow brought all these feelings back once again.
I want take a minute and look at my mother in law right now. Her husband died at the age of 44 leaving behind 8 children the youngest being just a few months old. As a mother I look at her in awe and wonder. To continue to raise those kids and be both Dad and Mom at the same time as well as grieving the love of your life at the same time is unfathomable. Being a wife and mother I can't imagine what it would feel like to bring your children home from the doctor and not be able to tell their father how much they've grown. Sitting down at the table with your children and seeing His face on each one of theirs. My mother in law raised her children in the church and when it came to parenting those children the church was there the whole time lifting her up. She did everything she could even if it meant working 2 or 3 jobs. What I like about her is her humility. It was the job God gave her and she obeyed willingly. She did all she knew how and I look at her and wander if I would ever be half the woman she is, in those circumstances.
She raised sons without a man in the house to look to as an example. What do I want my boys to know about being a man if their father died tomorrow? He may have his own list but here is mine. Oh and this is the condensed version.
10) boys sleep with girls but a man looks for a woman that he can wake up to every morning for the rest of his life.
9)A man looks to other older men and asks for constructive criticism. So that he may make himself better.
8)A man never looses his temper in away that insults or disrespects others .
7)If a man does number 8 he apologizes even if he's right so that reconciliations can be made and grudges forgotten.
6)A man is only a man of the house if he is the oldest in the house or takes care of the entire house financially, spiritually, emotionally and and all the other LY's
5)A man knows when he is # 6 and when he is under authority that is to be respected. In work, in school, in life those that are even 2 seconds older than you are to be treated with respect. Using common manners is a good beginning. Know your place and respect the decisions of those that God has placed over you.
4) A man respects and loves his family finding their talents and helping them grow in those talents.
3)A man loves and respects 2 people above all others, his mother and his wife.
2)A man puts God first his spouse second and himself last. He takes the trials that is placed in his way and uses them to make him stronger. He stays faithful even if he questions God he still does not allow that to stand in the way of his faithfulness. He encourages those around him in their walk with Him.
1)He does all of these things knowing that God is the Great I Am. It doesn't matter how many degrees you have, how much money you make, how many children you have, how old you are or how much responsibility you may have.You are measured as a man by how you show humility, compassion, love, and respect to all of Gods creatures and How you glorify Him in all that you do.
I pray that God gives me the ability to parent my boys so that they understand these things. If I can instill these things in them. I will feel like I have raised my boys to be Godly men. After that God can then take them and use them for His glory where ever that may be.
I'm glad that my husband has all of these qualities some he had to learn on his own and some I still see him growing in. I love watching him evolve into the man God wants him to be it's beautiful.
Thank you mother Moore for raising me an awesome husband and awesome father. Thank you Robert for the love you give our children. A love that is no doubt much like what your own Dad gave his children. You share his name and his legacy and the man God is making you , your dad I'm sure is proud of.
I'm just grateful.
I want take a minute and look at my mother in law right now. Her husband died at the age of 44 leaving behind 8 children the youngest being just a few months old. As a mother I look at her in awe and wonder. To continue to raise those kids and be both Dad and Mom at the same time as well as grieving the love of your life at the same time is unfathomable. Being a wife and mother I can't imagine what it would feel like to bring your children home from the doctor and not be able to tell their father how much they've grown. Sitting down at the table with your children and seeing His face on each one of theirs. My mother in law raised her children in the church and when it came to parenting those children the church was there the whole time lifting her up. She did everything she could even if it meant working 2 or 3 jobs. What I like about her is her humility. It was the job God gave her and she obeyed willingly. She did all she knew how and I look at her and wander if I would ever be half the woman she is, in those circumstances.
She raised sons without a man in the house to look to as an example. What do I want my boys to know about being a man if their father died tomorrow? He may have his own list but here is mine. Oh and this is the condensed version.
10) boys sleep with girls but a man looks for a woman that he can wake up to every morning for the rest of his life.
9)A man looks to other older men and asks for constructive criticism. So that he may make himself better.
8)A man never looses his temper in away that insults or disrespects others .
7)If a man does number 8 he apologizes even if he's right so that reconciliations can be made and grudges forgotten.
6)A man is only a man of the house if he is the oldest in the house or takes care of the entire house financially, spiritually, emotionally and and all the other LY's
5)A man knows when he is # 6 and when he is under authority that is to be respected. In work, in school, in life those that are even 2 seconds older than you are to be treated with respect. Using common manners is a good beginning. Know your place and respect the decisions of those that God has placed over you.
4) A man respects and loves his family finding their talents and helping them grow in those talents.
3)A man loves and respects 2 people above all others, his mother and his wife.
2)A man puts God first his spouse second and himself last. He takes the trials that is placed in his way and uses them to make him stronger. He stays faithful even if he questions God he still does not allow that to stand in the way of his faithfulness. He encourages those around him in their walk with Him.
1)He does all of these things knowing that God is the Great I Am. It doesn't matter how many degrees you have, how much money you make, how many children you have, how old you are or how much responsibility you may have.You are measured as a man by how you show humility, compassion, love, and respect to all of Gods creatures and How you glorify Him in all that you do.
I pray that God gives me the ability to parent my boys so that they understand these things. If I can instill these things in them. I will feel like I have raised my boys to be Godly men. After that God can then take them and use them for His glory where ever that may be.
I'm glad that my husband has all of these qualities some he had to learn on his own and some I still see him growing in. I love watching him evolve into the man God wants him to be it's beautiful.
Thank you mother Moore for raising me an awesome husband and awesome father. Thank you Robert for the love you give our children. A love that is no doubt much like what your own Dad gave his children. You share his name and his legacy and the man God is making you , your dad I'm sure is proud of.
I'm just grateful.
Friday, June 8, 2012
As for me and my house we will serve the Lord.
Robert and I have been slackers and now we're paying for it.
A missionary once told my son Robby that he is teaching his daughters not only to obey but how to obey.
Immediately- right away
Completely- all of the job the right way
Willingly- with a happy heart and a smile
We started enforcing this into our everyday lives awhile ago. However with the change of living with Roberts mother and siblings we have slacked off as parents and now are paying for it. Robert and his brothers often insult each other as jokes and laugh about it because they think they are funny. This is something I parttake in occasionally i admit. However I am now hearing the same things come out of my 7 year old's mouth in the wrong context. In many cases it's out and out insulting. It my fault I take film credit. Now I am having to buckle down on my kids and myself and reteach them manners because I wasn't paying attention. I feel like a horrible parent because I screwed up. I want to raise my children surrounded in the gospel. I don't want to shield them from the world I want to prepare them for it. I want them to face everyday with God as their cornerstone. When they get up in the morning and get dressed I want them to put on the full armor of God. Do so So that they are aware of where evil is what it does what it looks like so that they may fight against it. I want to hear them singing praises to the Lord and giving thanks to Him everyday. I want them to know that Christianity is not easy but it is beautiful. I want them to look at Christ and want him on their own accord not just pray to pray. I want to make the Bible exciting so that we'll all want to read it more. Then I want them to want to share their own life story and how Jesus saved them I want them to become a testimony of Christ. I want them to love people like we do. I want my children to be on fire for Christ. I don't care what their profession is I just want to look back and say yeah I made mistakes but I was the parent I wanted to be. I love my Children I dedicated them to the Lord. Time to do it again this time in preparation for the mission field. Is that to much? I can strive for this can't I?
We have 6 weeks and then we meet the missionary and volunteer team at the camp in South West Pennsylvania.
I am so excited. Please be praying for us.
A missionary once told my son Robby that he is teaching his daughters not only to obey but how to obey.
Immediately- right away
Completely- all of the job the right way
Willingly- with a happy heart and a smile
We started enforcing this into our everyday lives awhile ago. However with the change of living with Roberts mother and siblings we have slacked off as parents and now are paying for it. Robert and his brothers often insult each other as jokes and laugh about it because they think they are funny. This is something I parttake in occasionally i admit. However I am now hearing the same things come out of my 7 year old's mouth in the wrong context. In many cases it's out and out insulting. It my fault I take film credit. Now I am having to buckle down on my kids and myself and reteach them manners because I wasn't paying attention. I feel like a horrible parent because I screwed up. I want to raise my children surrounded in the gospel. I don't want to shield them from the world I want to prepare them for it. I want them to face everyday with God as their cornerstone. When they get up in the morning and get dressed I want them to put on the full armor of God. Do so So that they are aware of where evil is what it does what it looks like so that they may fight against it. I want to hear them singing praises to the Lord and giving thanks to Him everyday. I want them to know that Christianity is not easy but it is beautiful. I want them to look at Christ and want him on their own accord not just pray to pray. I want to make the Bible exciting so that we'll all want to read it more. Then I want them to want to share their own life story and how Jesus saved them I want them to become a testimony of Christ. I want them to love people like we do. I want my children to be on fire for Christ. I don't care what their profession is I just want to look back and say yeah I made mistakes but I was the parent I wanted to be. I love my Children I dedicated them to the Lord. Time to do it again this time in preparation for the mission field. Is that to much? I can strive for this can't I?
We have 6 weeks and then we meet the missionary and volunteer team at the camp in South West Pennsylvania.
I am so excited. Please be praying for us.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Jesus loves me this I know for the bible tells me so.
Little ones to him belong they are weak but he is strong.
I'm gonna miss waking up to breakfast in bed and home made cards in the morning. I'm gonna miss the excitement and the love from my children. "Happy mommy's Day!" I'm grateful that I only have to work till 3 so that I can have the next 2 days to spend with my family. I am in love with my children.
Robby reminds me so much of my dad. His mannerisms, his dry humor, his leisurely pace that sometimes makes you wish you didn't live in a society that was so fast paced and in a hurry all the time. The way he holds himself and the way he loves his Savior are things that make me glad I have him because my daddy doesn't seem so far away.
Jack. Oh my sweet sensitive Jack. How breakable you seemed when I first met you and now your personality brings light to anyone who is broken in a dark world. You freely give your love away without asking for any in return. Your heart breaks when others hearts are broken. Thank you for your smile!
Ahna my only girl. Tougher then nails, can hold her own with her brothers. I love the crooked smile her daddy gave her. The beautiful blonde curls that she doesn't know yet that every girl envies .
The compassion she has toward others humbles me. Always helping eager to please and always wanting to keep peace. Thank you Ahna for being my helper.
Jason is my sunshine! A ham and a goof ball always wanting attention and always trying new ways to get it. But oh so lazy always cutting corners and having his siblings do things for him so he doesn't have to. Like talk. Lol thank you for making me realize that everything is part of Gods plan even if it's not a part of ours.
Robert thank you for Making me a mother and for giving me such beautiful children your father would be proud of how you are helping me raise them.
I'm gonna miss waking up to breakfast in bed and home made cards in the morning. I'm gonna miss the excitement and the love from my children. "Happy mommy's Day!" I'm grateful that I only have to work till 3 so that I can have the next 2 days to spend with my family. I am in love with my children.
Robby reminds me so much of my dad. His mannerisms, his dry humor, his leisurely pace that sometimes makes you wish you didn't live in a society that was so fast paced and in a hurry all the time. The way he holds himself and the way he loves his Savior are things that make me glad I have him because my daddy doesn't seem so far away.
Jack. Oh my sweet sensitive Jack. How breakable you seemed when I first met you and now your personality brings light to anyone who is broken in a dark world. You freely give your love away without asking for any in return. Your heart breaks when others hearts are broken. Thank you for your smile!
Ahna my only girl. Tougher then nails, can hold her own with her brothers. I love the crooked smile her daddy gave her. The beautiful blonde curls that she doesn't know yet that every girl envies .
The compassion she has toward others humbles me. Always helping eager to please and always wanting to keep peace. Thank you Ahna for being my helper.
Jason is my sunshine! A ham and a goof ball always wanting attention and always trying new ways to get it. But oh so lazy always cutting corners and having his siblings do things for him so he doesn't have to. Like talk. Lol thank you for making me realize that everything is part of Gods plan even if it's not a part of ours.
Robert thank you for Making me a mother and for giving me such beautiful children your father would be proud of how you are helping me raise them.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Amazing love.....you are my king
In August it will be 9 years that I married that crazy teenager who stole my heart in a country on the other side of the planet. We had what some people would call a jiffy lube wedding. Invitations were sent by email and 6 hours of premarital counciling was done in 1 weekend. My family came together and we got it done in the nine days we had. the preparations were some of the best memories i'll have of the whole 9 days.
Anyway in those six hours we had with pastor Chuck we learned a lot mostly about ourselves. At the end of the sessions he gave us a test and at the end of the test he was astounded. He told us that in 35 years of being a pastor he had never seen 2 people know each other so well. All of our answers had been exactly the same.
This brings me back to our healing process. There is a point when a marriage is put through a storm, whatever that storm may be, where love has to become a choice. A choice? You say. Yes a choice. There were many times where I would be bringing Robert pills or something to eat in bed and he would look at me and say "why haven't you left yet? I'm worthless why do you insist on staying." I would tell him "because God chose you for me, your stuck with me for life." I had made my choice before the anger began and as hard as it was I chose to love him. Were there times where I couldn't stand the thought of him? Yes. Did I become resentful for the pain he caused me?Yes. One thing that faith gave me was quiet pep talks with myself where I would be able to adjust my attitude and my heavenly father would give me peace of mind and spirit, so that I could go back in with a smile and truthfully say I love you. After he became bitter those pep talks became more frequent but I never realized how bad it had gotten until my bed rest with Jason.
Robert made his choice to love me during that fight. I accused him of mentally leaving me already. That he wasn't here. I asked him if we should just seperate and him not buy a returning ticket untill he was ready? He told me he was willing to fight. As I told you before he became my old Robert for the 4 weeks before he left. When he got back I gave him a lot of space to work on his relationship with God and my job to work on was to just shut up and listen which he would tell you is still hard. I tend to interrupt a lot so still working on that. I feel like there are things we had to relearn how to do. And there are still things that we used to do that we realize we need to enforce back into our relationship. It's crazy to think that the couple that knew each other so well almost nine years ago is still struggling with communication after 2 years of not communicating much. When I saw Robert start trying when He got back it made me want to try. It only took a couple months for people at church to notice that something was different. I was glad I wasn't the only ones hat noticed. I knew I was changing too maybe more smiles. But the biggest thing that I noticed by the time Jason was born was his willingness to pray again. The next spring Robert started working doing some handyman stuff. A lady in our church hired him to do some work. It started out with both of us painting her house. Then it was just him doing repairs. He ended up replacing 1300 square feet of her roof. He just kept working and slowly his confidence started building and I guess you can say his manness returned and with it his faith strengthened. I never thought that he would became the one with the attitude "don't worry the Lord will provide". That was my job. Lol when I got my nursing license and I could officially start looking for work he came to me and said we need to start praying about missions again. A dream we had long since flushed down the toilet was now being reborn in our hearts and not just mine but my husbands as well. What have we learned since Jason was born? More than we did in the 6 years prior to his birth. God is showing us what it's like to get on your knees together and in doing so get results. We have things that we are still working on and quite frankly we will be working us the rest of our lives. We have gone through a ton of small hurricanes since we stepped into the state of Md but with our faith now unwavering they don't seem as big as the one that consumed us for so long.
I am proud to say that God restored Robs health to probably about 85% of what he used to be but there are those things that were damaged beyond repair that need constant medication. His liver and blood pressure as well as the nerve pain and hand tremors have found their treatments so that Rob can live a normal life. I'm glad he gets to start a new job this week.
I don't know if you have gotten anything from my little series on us in the raw. I hope you have. Love is a choice! Not just a feeling. It doesn't have to be a spouse that you are feeling hopeless about, it could be a sibling or parent. As Christians it's not our job to give up it's our job to forgive and sometimes that maybe the most difficult thing ever. We're lucky though we're not alone. I love my husband and I respect him, I'm learning to be what God wants me to be and some days I'm more upset with myself at my stupidity than anything else. I have a big foot that likes to insert itself into my mouth quite often. Hahaha! I'm glad I have such a gracious God and a husband that knows I'm human. You have a right to choose so choose to pray first and let God guide you like He's guiding us. We may take a wrong turn but He knows how to get us back on the right path.
I love you Robert. If one person reads this and chooses to fight for their marriage like we did it's worth it, telling our story and having people share it.
Anyway in those six hours we had with pastor Chuck we learned a lot mostly about ourselves. At the end of the sessions he gave us a test and at the end of the test he was astounded. He told us that in 35 years of being a pastor he had never seen 2 people know each other so well. All of our answers had been exactly the same.
This brings me back to our healing process. There is a point when a marriage is put through a storm, whatever that storm may be, where love has to become a choice. A choice? You say. Yes a choice. There were many times where I would be bringing Robert pills or something to eat in bed and he would look at me and say "why haven't you left yet? I'm worthless why do you insist on staying." I would tell him "because God chose you for me, your stuck with me for life." I had made my choice before the anger began and as hard as it was I chose to love him. Were there times where I couldn't stand the thought of him? Yes. Did I become resentful for the pain he caused me?Yes. One thing that faith gave me was quiet pep talks with myself where I would be able to adjust my attitude and my heavenly father would give me peace of mind and spirit, so that I could go back in with a smile and truthfully say I love you. After he became bitter those pep talks became more frequent but I never realized how bad it had gotten until my bed rest with Jason.
Robert made his choice to love me during that fight. I accused him of mentally leaving me already. That he wasn't here. I asked him if we should just seperate and him not buy a returning ticket untill he was ready? He told me he was willing to fight. As I told you before he became my old Robert for the 4 weeks before he left. When he got back I gave him a lot of space to work on his relationship with God and my job to work on was to just shut up and listen which he would tell you is still hard. I tend to interrupt a lot so still working on that. I feel like there are things we had to relearn how to do. And there are still things that we used to do that we realize we need to enforce back into our relationship. It's crazy to think that the couple that knew each other so well almost nine years ago is still struggling with communication after 2 years of not communicating much. When I saw Robert start trying when He got back it made me want to try. It only took a couple months for people at church to notice that something was different. I was glad I wasn't the only ones hat noticed. I knew I was changing too maybe more smiles. But the biggest thing that I noticed by the time Jason was born was his willingness to pray again. The next spring Robert started working doing some handyman stuff. A lady in our church hired him to do some work. It started out with both of us painting her house. Then it was just him doing repairs. He ended up replacing 1300 square feet of her roof. He just kept working and slowly his confidence started building and I guess you can say his manness returned and with it his faith strengthened. I never thought that he would became the one with the attitude "don't worry the Lord will provide". That was my job. Lol when I got my nursing license and I could officially start looking for work he came to me and said we need to start praying about missions again. A dream we had long since flushed down the toilet was now being reborn in our hearts and not just mine but my husbands as well. What have we learned since Jason was born? More than we did in the 6 years prior to his birth. God is showing us what it's like to get on your knees together and in doing so get results. We have things that we are still working on and quite frankly we will be working us the rest of our lives. We have gone through a ton of small hurricanes since we stepped into the state of Md but with our faith now unwavering they don't seem as big as the one that consumed us for so long.
I am proud to say that God restored Robs health to probably about 85% of what he used to be but there are those things that were damaged beyond repair that need constant medication. His liver and blood pressure as well as the nerve pain and hand tremors have found their treatments so that Rob can live a normal life. I'm glad he gets to start a new job this week.
I don't know if you have gotten anything from my little series on us in the raw. I hope you have. Love is a choice! Not just a feeling. It doesn't have to be a spouse that you are feeling hopeless about, it could be a sibling or parent. As Christians it's not our job to give up it's our job to forgive and sometimes that maybe the most difficult thing ever. We're lucky though we're not alone. I love my husband and I respect him, I'm learning to be what God wants me to be and some days I'm more upset with myself at my stupidity than anything else. I have a big foot that likes to insert itself into my mouth quite often. Hahaha! I'm glad I have such a gracious God and a husband that knows I'm human. You have a right to choose so choose to pray first and let God guide you like He's guiding us. We may take a wrong turn but He knows how to get us back on the right path.
I love you Robert. If one person reads this and chooses to fight for their marriage like we did it's worth it, telling our story and having people share it.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Amazing love continued...
With the misdiagnosis of Fibromyalgia a lot of dreams went out the window. The biggest one was serving the Lord as missionaries some where. It just went out the window because that disease is so unpredictable. When I heard "Diabetes" there in that ER that day I was wandering how much of his symptoms were caused by the diabetes I realized that day that fibromyalgia could have been a misdiagnosis and I had hope that my husband wasn't going to die. People live with type1 Diabetes every day. I was glad that I had an answer finally.
Then I looked at his face. Utter shock "Are you sure?" he asked. "yeah man your sugar is 600, your kidneys and liver are shutting down I'm surprised your not in a coma right now."
Rob hates needles almost as much as he hates purple. I remember everytime he saw one of those diabetes testing supply commercials he would look at me and say "if I ever get diabetes just shoot me ok?" when I remembered this it made me realize that he really was facing his worse fear.
Unfortunately we went to the ER on a Friday so he had to go back on Saturday for him to get some more insulin that would keep him out of a coma till Monday when he could see his doctor. When we went back in his Sugar was still 550 so they tried a 24 hour insulin and some more short term insulin and this time they waited for it to come down before he left. They got it down to 330 and we went home. That night he joked with my mom played with the kids and kissed me first for the first time in a long time. It gave us hope that my Robert would come back. However the true test was still coming. Robert got all of his diabetes stuff the next week and being the nursing student I was I got to give him the first injection at home. I did it for the first day, every meal. He surprised me the next day by telling me he wanted to try. He said "meg I have too your not always going to be here." so I left the room and he did it. After a few weeks of doing this he got his sugar down to the 100s and everyone was so excited. The problem that we noticed was the pain in his legs the trembling and hand shakes got worse for awhile. I guess it would be considered coming off a sugar high. It was my first confirmation that maybe it was diabetes all along. His neurologist who was treating all the pain for fibromyalgia confirmed that this could all be the diabetes. He saw an endocrinologist who said yes most definitely , but that his body had been damaged so bad by the diabetes that it would take at least 2 maybe even 3 years to see what damage was permanent. For awhile Robert did pretty well but then the fact that his worse nightmare was his reality and that he was going to have to live with this for the rest of his life, started to sink in. In response Robert became more bitter and angry with God which in turn made him angry with everyone else as well. After a few months the I thought it would get better but I didn't realize that it was only building. Being in school and having 3 children at home and then dealing with his anger I was hanging on by faith alone. Then I realized that I was having a miscarriage when I didn't know I was pregnant. I look back and realize now I was about 7 weeks a long. It was extremely painful and I didn't tell him for awhile because he was just so angry all the time. Then in June we find out that I'm pregnant with Jason. I knew exactly when he was conceived because I realized that my birth control failed. I rolled over that night and said "I'm screwed" lol. We were in the doctors office when we found out and when I showed him that the pregnancy test was positive he looked at it and said "well that's inconvenient". I looked at my husband not knowing who he was anymore. I still had 4 months of school left. He kept saying things like "this isn't the right time". He even told his family how upset he was because I "was ecstatic". I decided that this was a gift from God it may have not been in my plan but this little life was a part of Gods plan. So yeah I decided to be happy. I loved whoever it was and I didn't know but God had a big plan for him.
After a couple months of comments and complaining and anger from Rob my body couldn't handle the stress I had taken on too much and with the exhaustion came contractions. At 17 weeks I was in the ER and didn't even know I could feel contractions that early. Rob sat there Rubbing my back loving on me like he used to, kissing me, filling me with "I love yous". I thought "wow he's back". After they did an ultrasound and saw that my baby was doing really good they sent me home and told me to stay on bedrest for 3 days. I was good with that. On the way home Rob got angry again. I saw him hardly at all those 3 days. He had the kids bring me this and bring me that. I had 3 days to think. I realized he was getting better and I was still treating him like he was sick. For three days he took care of the kids fixed meals and never heard him complain about himself not feeling well. I had enabled him. I didn't have to carry this load all by myself anymore. I also realized that we didn't deserve his anger and after six months of being mad at God he needed to fix his relationship with Him. I needed him to because that was just another thing that burdened my soul and I shouldn't be dwelling on it. I had some praying to do and some changes to make in myself and then I needed to confront my husband about the man he had become. We had a big blow out where I told him to leave. That he needed to go home see his family and get a better appreciation for his family here at home. Luckily he heard everything I said and he booked a flight. I told him if he didn't come home working on himself and his relationship with his savior than we would seperate. I also told him I would be working on some things in me and that our baby's life depended on the changes we both made. The 4 weeks before he left he was my old Robert. He even took me out for our anniversary where I didn't know what to say to him. He asked me why I was so quiet and I broke down crying and asked him "how long is this gonna last, your back and I don't want you to leave me again."
When he came back from Md I could see small changes taking place. I look back now and see the big job Jason had. He started healing our marriage. When we had our ultrasound after Rob got home, he watched his little heart beat and fell in love with him like I knew he would. We found out it was a boy. By the time that Jason arrived everyone was excited about him coming.
I want you to know that I'm glad I have walked this journey with my husband and I know that the blessing in the end for us is not only a stronger faith but a stronger marriage as well. Is marriage easy? No it's the hardest thing ever. Is it worth it? Yes. Do I love Robert more today than I did yesterday? You bet. Was divorce ever mentioned? Yes it was. I said "Rob I will never divorce you I have to much time and love invested in you for me to give up. I will fight as long as I have too, but I do believe in taking a break so we can put ourselves back together. This story isn't done I want to tell you more about the healing part of this whole thing so check back in and bring a friend.
Then I looked at his face. Utter shock "Are you sure?" he asked. "yeah man your sugar is 600, your kidneys and liver are shutting down I'm surprised your not in a coma right now."
Rob hates needles almost as much as he hates purple. I remember everytime he saw one of those diabetes testing supply commercials he would look at me and say "if I ever get diabetes just shoot me ok?" when I remembered this it made me realize that he really was facing his worse fear.
Unfortunately we went to the ER on a Friday so he had to go back on Saturday for him to get some more insulin that would keep him out of a coma till Monday when he could see his doctor. When we went back in his Sugar was still 550 so they tried a 24 hour insulin and some more short term insulin and this time they waited for it to come down before he left. They got it down to 330 and we went home. That night he joked with my mom played with the kids and kissed me first for the first time in a long time. It gave us hope that my Robert would come back. However the true test was still coming. Robert got all of his diabetes stuff the next week and being the nursing student I was I got to give him the first injection at home. I did it for the first day, every meal. He surprised me the next day by telling me he wanted to try. He said "meg I have too your not always going to be here." so I left the room and he did it. After a few weeks of doing this he got his sugar down to the 100s and everyone was so excited. The problem that we noticed was the pain in his legs the trembling and hand shakes got worse for awhile. I guess it would be considered coming off a sugar high. It was my first confirmation that maybe it was diabetes all along. His neurologist who was treating all the pain for fibromyalgia confirmed that this could all be the diabetes. He saw an endocrinologist who said yes most definitely , but that his body had been damaged so bad by the diabetes that it would take at least 2 maybe even 3 years to see what damage was permanent. For awhile Robert did pretty well but then the fact that his worse nightmare was his reality and that he was going to have to live with this for the rest of his life, started to sink in. In response Robert became more bitter and angry with God which in turn made him angry with everyone else as well. After a few months the I thought it would get better but I didn't realize that it was only building. Being in school and having 3 children at home and then dealing with his anger I was hanging on by faith alone. Then I realized that I was having a miscarriage when I didn't know I was pregnant. I look back and realize now I was about 7 weeks a long. It was extremely painful and I didn't tell him for awhile because he was just so angry all the time. Then in June we find out that I'm pregnant with Jason. I knew exactly when he was conceived because I realized that my birth control failed. I rolled over that night and said "I'm screwed" lol. We were in the doctors office when we found out and when I showed him that the pregnancy test was positive he looked at it and said "well that's inconvenient". I looked at my husband not knowing who he was anymore. I still had 4 months of school left. He kept saying things like "this isn't the right time". He even told his family how upset he was because I "was ecstatic". I decided that this was a gift from God it may have not been in my plan but this little life was a part of Gods plan. So yeah I decided to be happy. I loved whoever it was and I didn't know but God had a big plan for him.
After a couple months of comments and complaining and anger from Rob my body couldn't handle the stress I had taken on too much and with the exhaustion came contractions. At 17 weeks I was in the ER and didn't even know I could feel contractions that early. Rob sat there Rubbing my back loving on me like he used to, kissing me, filling me with "I love yous". I thought "wow he's back". After they did an ultrasound and saw that my baby was doing really good they sent me home and told me to stay on bedrest for 3 days. I was good with that. On the way home Rob got angry again. I saw him hardly at all those 3 days. He had the kids bring me this and bring me that. I had 3 days to think. I realized he was getting better and I was still treating him like he was sick. For three days he took care of the kids fixed meals and never heard him complain about himself not feeling well. I had enabled him. I didn't have to carry this load all by myself anymore. I also realized that we didn't deserve his anger and after six months of being mad at God he needed to fix his relationship with Him. I needed him to because that was just another thing that burdened my soul and I shouldn't be dwelling on it. I had some praying to do and some changes to make in myself and then I needed to confront my husband about the man he had become. We had a big blow out where I told him to leave. That he needed to go home see his family and get a better appreciation for his family here at home. Luckily he heard everything I said and he booked a flight. I told him if he didn't come home working on himself and his relationship with his savior than we would seperate. I also told him I would be working on some things in me and that our baby's life depended on the changes we both made. The 4 weeks before he left he was my old Robert. He even took me out for our anniversary where I didn't know what to say to him. He asked me why I was so quiet and I broke down crying and asked him "how long is this gonna last, your back and I don't want you to leave me again."
When he came back from Md I could see small changes taking place. I look back now and see the big job Jason had. He started healing our marriage. When we had our ultrasound after Rob got home, he watched his little heart beat and fell in love with him like I knew he would. We found out it was a boy. By the time that Jason arrived everyone was excited about him coming.
I want you to know that I'm glad I have walked this journey with my husband and I know that the blessing in the end for us is not only a stronger faith but a stronger marriage as well. Is marriage easy? No it's the hardest thing ever. Is it worth it? Yes. Do I love Robert more today than I did yesterday? You bet. Was divorce ever mentioned? Yes it was. I said "Rob I will never divorce you I have to much time and love invested in you for me to give up. I will fight as long as I have too, but I do believe in taking a break so we can put ourselves back together. This story isn't done I want to tell you more about the healing part of this whole thing so check back in and bring a friend.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Amazing Love how can it be....
That you my King would die for me?
4 1/2 years ago we embarked on a journey that Rob and I don't wish on our worst enemies (well if we had them). Not very many wives my age can say that they have almost lost their husbands as many times as I have. At this time 5 years ago we were preparing for Roberts sister Erin's wedding. I was 6 months pregnant and we hadn't told any of his family because we didn't want to take away from her day. Ahna was an awesome baby but when she was a couple months old that October Rob started getting sick. He worked for the Gas Co. and was very fit because he had to walk 6 to 10 miles a day as a meter reader. Watching him come home completely exhausted and having the stomache problems and the pain he did was just weird. Heartbreaking. It got to the point where all he did was work and sleep.
In November some new symptoms developed. I remember driving home from church one day and he couldn't get his hand to work to put the turn signal on. By Christmas the pain was almost uncontrollable his hands shook so bad he couldn't pick up a pencil. Christmas night while visiting my sister in northern California the pain was so bad I had to take him to the ER. I vowed that day that no matter the cost I would not break my vow "in sickness and in health." They told him at the hospital that night that he should consider taking a leave of absence from work to see some specialists. His liver was really enlarged and some kidney counts were high. So began our journey of the unknown seeing specialist after specialist. Moving home to be with the parentals to see if he could get better health care.
Work let him transfer from Visalia to Valencia started a new search for what was behind his crazy symptoms that seemed to stump every doctor we saw. Rob started becoming bitter and depressed and started taking Meds to help with the depression. The same thing happened here Doctors continuely ruled stuff out. Multiple Sclerosis and mercury poisoning were a few.
In July I went back to school starting to think that I may watch my husband die and I needed something to support my children. I know that sounded harsh but that was my greatest fear. After awhile I decided that God would not allow him to go undiagnosed. In September he was misdiagnosed as having fibromyalgia. This is when he decide to leave the gas co. and hang up his shirt because he never thought he'd work again. He still didn't play with his kids or dote on us like he used to as a wife I saw that he didn't see himself as a man really. The pride in caring for your family is something that can eat at a man if he can't do it. His depression worsened and the Meds were changed which had an opposite affect and one evening he told me he wanted to throw himself off the cliff at the back of my parents property. Friends and pastors were called to talk him down. I never prayed so hard in my life. This drug that made a wife's worse nightmare almost a reality was Cymbalta.
That January as an attempt to pull my husband back to his family I did everything in my power to make his birthday the best 25th ever. I secretly flew in his mother from MD with the help of his sisters. Went to Disneyland with her and the boys. I threw a surprise party with 45 people there that had been praying for him. Little did we know that he would get his diagnoses just 2 months later.
While his mom was there he had developed a cyst at the bottom of his spine. It got infected and needed to be removed. The surgery was scheduled for the last week in February. He went in fine he came out sicker than a dog . Since I was the student nurse I got the lovely job of packing and cleaning the giant extra hole at the top of Robs butt. After a few days I realized that robs condition had worsened, something about his recovery was not right. He saw the surgeon a couple times and the surgeon was frustrated with the way the hole wasn't closing. A couple more weeks and more frustration. I was sitting in class one day going over what diabetes does to the central nervous system. It hit me like an anvil dropped on my head. I rushed home and asked him how many times he'd gone to the bathroom in the last hour. "3 or 4"
How much water have you drunk today? "6 of these" when I counted, the amount of water was 3 gallons. Are you still thirsty? "yeah it won't go away". Your really sick Rob I need to take you to the ER. When we had gotten to the ER and they triaged him I tried so hard not to cry when he stood on the scale and he had lost almost 35 lbs in the 3 weeks since his surgery. I look back now and remember how ashamed he was when both of us and the bed would be soaked because of night sweats and I'd have to change the sheets almost every morning. They did a bunch of tests and the doctor comes in and says "dude you have diabetes" he looked at me and said "mam if you had waited any longer you could have been a widow". Nothing prepares you for the reaction on your husbands face when he hears that his worse nightmare has just become a reality.
This I just the first part of the journey but why am I writing it now? Because Rob hung up his shirt right? He thought he'd never get to the point where he could work full-time ever again. He starts his first full time job in almost 5 years this next week. I look at him and he's more than just a man to me He's the one God gave me to love through sickness and health. I think the hardest part of the story has yet to come. I guess you'll have to check back in to find out how Rob got from the ER to the interview he had today.
4 1/2 years ago we embarked on a journey that Rob and I don't wish on our worst enemies (well if we had them). Not very many wives my age can say that they have almost lost their husbands as many times as I have. At this time 5 years ago we were preparing for Roberts sister Erin's wedding. I was 6 months pregnant and we hadn't told any of his family because we didn't want to take away from her day. Ahna was an awesome baby but when she was a couple months old that October Rob started getting sick. He worked for the Gas Co. and was very fit because he had to walk 6 to 10 miles a day as a meter reader. Watching him come home completely exhausted and having the stomache problems and the pain he did was just weird. Heartbreaking. It got to the point where all he did was work and sleep.
In November some new symptoms developed. I remember driving home from church one day and he couldn't get his hand to work to put the turn signal on. By Christmas the pain was almost uncontrollable his hands shook so bad he couldn't pick up a pencil. Christmas night while visiting my sister in northern California the pain was so bad I had to take him to the ER. I vowed that day that no matter the cost I would not break my vow "in sickness and in health." They told him at the hospital that night that he should consider taking a leave of absence from work to see some specialists. His liver was really enlarged and some kidney counts were high. So began our journey of the unknown seeing specialist after specialist. Moving home to be with the parentals to see if he could get better health care.
Work let him transfer from Visalia to Valencia started a new search for what was behind his crazy symptoms that seemed to stump every doctor we saw. Rob started becoming bitter and depressed and started taking Meds to help with the depression. The same thing happened here Doctors continuely ruled stuff out. Multiple Sclerosis and mercury poisoning were a few.
In July I went back to school starting to think that I may watch my husband die and I needed something to support my children. I know that sounded harsh but that was my greatest fear. After awhile I decided that God would not allow him to go undiagnosed. In September he was misdiagnosed as having fibromyalgia. This is when he decide to leave the gas co. and hang up his shirt because he never thought he'd work again. He still didn't play with his kids or dote on us like he used to as a wife I saw that he didn't see himself as a man really. The pride in caring for your family is something that can eat at a man if he can't do it. His depression worsened and the Meds were changed which had an opposite affect and one evening he told me he wanted to throw himself off the cliff at the back of my parents property. Friends and pastors were called to talk him down. I never prayed so hard in my life. This drug that made a wife's worse nightmare almost a reality was Cymbalta.
That January as an attempt to pull my husband back to his family I did everything in my power to make his birthday the best 25th ever. I secretly flew in his mother from MD with the help of his sisters. Went to Disneyland with her and the boys. I threw a surprise party with 45 people there that had been praying for him. Little did we know that he would get his diagnoses just 2 months later.
While his mom was there he had developed a cyst at the bottom of his spine. It got infected and needed to be removed. The surgery was scheduled for the last week in February. He went in fine he came out sicker than a dog . Since I was the student nurse I got the lovely job of packing and cleaning the giant extra hole at the top of Robs butt. After a few days I realized that robs condition had worsened, something about his recovery was not right. He saw the surgeon a couple times and the surgeon was frustrated with the way the hole wasn't closing. A couple more weeks and more frustration. I was sitting in class one day going over what diabetes does to the central nervous system. It hit me like an anvil dropped on my head. I rushed home and asked him how many times he'd gone to the bathroom in the last hour. "3 or 4"
How much water have you drunk today? "6 of these" when I counted, the amount of water was 3 gallons. Are you still thirsty? "yeah it won't go away". Your really sick Rob I need to take you to the ER. When we had gotten to the ER and they triaged him I tried so hard not to cry when he stood on the scale and he had lost almost 35 lbs in the 3 weeks since his surgery. I look back now and remember how ashamed he was when both of us and the bed would be soaked because of night sweats and I'd have to change the sheets almost every morning. They did a bunch of tests and the doctor comes in and says "dude you have diabetes" he looked at me and said "mam if you had waited any longer you could have been a widow". Nothing prepares you for the reaction on your husbands face when he hears that his worse nightmare has just become a reality.
This I just the first part of the journey but why am I writing it now? Because Rob hung up his shirt right? He thought he'd never get to the point where he could work full-time ever again. He starts his first full time job in almost 5 years this next week. I look at him and he's more than just a man to me He's the one God gave me to love through sickness and health. I think the hardest part of the story has yet to come. I guess you'll have to check back in to find out how Rob got from the ER to the interview he had today.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
There are no Orphans of God.....
I know it's been a while since I last Blogged. This time I'd like to go into a little more detail about how God is changing our hearts and minds about our Calling. Where are we and what is Children's Bible Ministry?
What is Children's Bible ministry and why do we love it so much? The time it got started was when prayer was taken out of schools. A man in Florida was burdened and started getting school districts to allow "Release Time" which is where they take kids out of school for an hour once a week to hear a bible lesson and learn about Jesus. From Florida "Release time" moved up the east coast. In the 70s CBM opened the first Summer camp in Florida. This gave the kids from "Release Time" opportunities to leave a secular home and praise the Lord for a whole week.
Since the 70s CBM has opened 7 camps here on the east coast.
Here is where we come in. There are 2 camps that are fairly new one in Virginia about a 2 hour drive and one in southwest Pennsylvania about 4 hours.
Rob has been developing a gift for repairing and building things. The SW Pennsylvania camp has only been running Since 2010 and still needs Full Time missionary staff and one need being facility upkeep. Virginia is also in need of Full- time staff but what the needs are? We are not sure yet.
Why have we fallen in love with them? Because of their mission and the new lives they give these kids. They are going after this generation as young as 5 and someone has to because a lot of these kids are raising themselves. Having 11 children come to know the Lord in just 4 months with our club in our home, has given us a taste of a ministry that we want to be a part of for the rest of our lives.
What happened to Sierra Leone?
Well it's still there duh! Just kidding we love africa, always will and we would love to go back. God however has revealed to us a couple things that kind of have shown us that He had a different plan all along. However short term trips are not out of the equation. A major one is that we have discovered that Ahna has a gluten sensitivity. If we were to go over seas full time it would be very difficult to get food over there that she can eat and her nutrition would be a difficult obstacle to over come.
The other one is that I studied nursing in a California and it will take me a lot of money to get my license here. I could already have it but if I had gotten it I would have had to change my license again in a year or so when and where ever we may serve. I guess you can say God is saving us about 400 dollars.
What's the process like?
There is the application and resume.
Then after the state board approves it there is an interview with them. Then our file is sent to the national office in Tennessee where they approve us for Candidate School. Which is a week in Tennessee getting us ready for service and support raising. Candidate school is going to be held in October this year and we're praying that everything will be approved so we can be there.
So somethings you can pray about:
1)Ahna's gluten free adjustment.
2) that Rob's job he was offered a month ago starts soon.
3) that God guides us through this application process.
4) be praying that the Lord lays on your heart churches that may want to be partners in sending us. (they will be contacted only after we have the approval to start building our support.
What is Children's Bible ministry and why do we love it so much? The time it got started was when prayer was taken out of schools. A man in Florida was burdened and started getting school districts to allow "Release Time" which is where they take kids out of school for an hour once a week to hear a bible lesson and learn about Jesus. From Florida "Release time" moved up the east coast. In the 70s CBM opened the first Summer camp in Florida. This gave the kids from "Release Time" opportunities to leave a secular home and praise the Lord for a whole week.
Since the 70s CBM has opened 7 camps here on the east coast.
Here is where we come in. There are 2 camps that are fairly new one in Virginia about a 2 hour drive and one in southwest Pennsylvania about 4 hours.
Rob has been developing a gift for repairing and building things. The SW Pennsylvania camp has only been running Since 2010 and still needs Full Time missionary staff and one need being facility upkeep. Virginia is also in need of Full- time staff but what the needs are? We are not sure yet.
Why have we fallen in love with them? Because of their mission and the new lives they give these kids. They are going after this generation as young as 5 and someone has to because a lot of these kids are raising themselves. Having 11 children come to know the Lord in just 4 months with our club in our home, has given us a taste of a ministry that we want to be a part of for the rest of our lives.
What happened to Sierra Leone?
Well it's still there duh! Just kidding we love africa, always will and we would love to go back. God however has revealed to us a couple things that kind of have shown us that He had a different plan all along. However short term trips are not out of the equation. A major one is that we have discovered that Ahna has a gluten sensitivity. If we were to go over seas full time it would be very difficult to get food over there that she can eat and her nutrition would be a difficult obstacle to over come.
The other one is that I studied nursing in a California and it will take me a lot of money to get my license here. I could already have it but if I had gotten it I would have had to change my license again in a year or so when and where ever we may serve. I guess you can say God is saving us about 400 dollars.
What's the process like?
There is the application and resume.
Then after the state board approves it there is an interview with them. Then our file is sent to the national office in Tennessee where they approve us for Candidate School. Which is a week in Tennessee getting us ready for service and support raising. Candidate school is going to be held in October this year and we're praying that everything will be approved so we can be there.
So somethings you can pray about:
1)Ahna's gluten free adjustment.
2) that Rob's job he was offered a month ago starts soon.
3) that God guides us through this application process.
4) be praying that the Lord lays on your heart churches that may want to be partners in sending us. (they will be contacted only after we have the approval to start building our support.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
" This little light of mine"
It's time to cure the blogging itch and let everyone know what has happened to my family. God has blessed us so much and what I am going to write will seem contradicting to that statement! When Rob had surgery in October we fell behind in rent a couple months. A few weeks ago Rob was told he no longer had a job due to his boss wanting to keep the work in the family. And due to this and our past due rent we were evicted. Ok there was the blow now let me back up a few weeks and start in on the blessings.
A few weeks earlier I announced to my Sunday school class that 11 children had made decisions for christ. They have supported us in this endeavor in prayer since the beginning. That next week we got a call from Children's Bible Ministry (kids club people) saying they want to talk to us about serving with them full time as missionaries. If we take a position it will be at a kids camp. Rob would be head of facility care. Rob and I had both become equally animated about the opportunity which was the first time. He always had hesitations with the other opportunities. There was no hesitation with this one. We have prayed and we had my Sunday school class start praying. All the while a thought a pastor put in my heart years ago came to mind "Be ready to go, but be willing to stay". So we started considering this and we still believe that God has put Africa on hearts for a reason. Although it maybe farther in the future. Sierra Leonne is a desire of my heart but I will be content with serving short term for now. Also I am happy with the feeling that this time it's both of us feeling the Call to the same place equally.
The Blow hit us 2 weeks or so after this. When I told my Sunday school class to pray I was told Satan doesn't want us going anywhere for the Lord and he'll do anything to prevent us from going. My teacher looked at me and said "this is just a speed bump on the road to the field don't let this be more than what it is because Satan wants to derail you from your Journey."
That day saying came to me from a missionary speaker "the bigger the trial the more Glorious the Victory!". My class then surrounded me in prayer and after studying more about Paul they stood in line to embrace me. My class had lifted my burden that day. I felt home even though technically I was almost homeless. The next week I started working and wasn't able to attend church and they had taken a love offering for my family. 20 women gave us 450$ dollars. I never felt that kind of love before. That's the church folks!!!!! I have amazing sisters and when they commission us out when that day comes its going to be the biggest party Halethorpe has ever seen.
Where are we now?
Physically we are staying at Roberts mothers house. I am working with 2 families now doing nanny work. They are broken families that I am happy To go in with my light shining. Rob has been offered a job but we aren't sure when it will start. Hopefully in the next few weeks. God knew this was going to happen way before we did. And He puts us where he wants us. We have remained faithful and are excited about where He is going to lead us to start a new kids club. Continue to pray for us God is just getting started with our blessings. Satan is playing us hard and we know he will as long we are doing what God wants us to. We are letting Him lead and in doing so he reveals himself to us in little ways through out the day to tell us He's there.
How can you pray?
Pray for our decision making with (CBM)
Pray robs job will start soon so we can be in a new house before the heat of summer hits.
Pray for the children I watch they are my mission field right now.
Pray for me and seperation anxiety from Jason, oh he's fine he could care less that I'm working, but me I need to adjust to being away from him. Thank you all for your support and prayers but know that we are allowing ourselves to be led and we are listening not just praying. Love you all and miss most of you!
meg
A few weeks earlier I announced to my Sunday school class that 11 children had made decisions for christ. They have supported us in this endeavor in prayer since the beginning. That next week we got a call from Children's Bible Ministry (kids club people) saying they want to talk to us about serving with them full time as missionaries. If we take a position it will be at a kids camp. Rob would be head of facility care. Rob and I had both become equally animated about the opportunity which was the first time. He always had hesitations with the other opportunities. There was no hesitation with this one. We have prayed and we had my Sunday school class start praying. All the while a thought a pastor put in my heart years ago came to mind "Be ready to go, but be willing to stay". So we started considering this and we still believe that God has put Africa on hearts for a reason. Although it maybe farther in the future. Sierra Leonne is a desire of my heart but I will be content with serving short term for now. Also I am happy with the feeling that this time it's both of us feeling the Call to the same place equally.
The Blow hit us 2 weeks or so after this. When I told my Sunday school class to pray I was told Satan doesn't want us going anywhere for the Lord and he'll do anything to prevent us from going. My teacher looked at me and said "this is just a speed bump on the road to the field don't let this be more than what it is because Satan wants to derail you from your Journey."
That day saying came to me from a missionary speaker "the bigger the trial the more Glorious the Victory!". My class then surrounded me in prayer and after studying more about Paul they stood in line to embrace me. My class had lifted my burden that day. I felt home even though technically I was almost homeless. The next week I started working and wasn't able to attend church and they had taken a love offering for my family. 20 women gave us 450$ dollars. I never felt that kind of love before. That's the church folks!!!!! I have amazing sisters and when they commission us out when that day comes its going to be the biggest party Halethorpe has ever seen.
Where are we now?
Physically we are staying at Roberts mothers house. I am working with 2 families now doing nanny work. They are broken families that I am happy To go in with my light shining. Rob has been offered a job but we aren't sure when it will start. Hopefully in the next few weeks. God knew this was going to happen way before we did. And He puts us where he wants us. We have remained faithful and are excited about where He is going to lead us to start a new kids club. Continue to pray for us God is just getting started with our blessings. Satan is playing us hard and we know he will as long we are doing what God wants us to. We are letting Him lead and in doing so he reveals himself to us in little ways through out the day to tell us He's there.
How can you pray?
Pray for our decision making with (CBM)
Pray robs job will start soon so we can be in a new house before the heat of summer hits.
Pray for the children I watch they are my mission field right now.
Pray for me and seperation anxiety from Jason, oh he's fine he could care less that I'm working, but me I need to adjust to being away from him. Thank you all for your support and prayers but know that we are allowing ourselves to be led and we are listening not just praying. Love you all and miss most of you!
meg
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
"And step by step you'll lead me"
...And I will follow you all of my days"
I think this is my 3rd cold this winter and I'm getting really frustrated. It's made me think about warmer climates. What will it be like to live in an area of the world where it's between 65 & 85 all the time, all year around. I'm thinking about Sierra Leone more and more. The Lord is deffinately making this burden greater. I have started having the mind frame that I am not suppose to be here. Wether it's Africa or not working for the Lord is all I want to do. Oh I know I need to work, but I can't help but read about efforts around the world. Than I wonder when is it going to be me. When are you going to use these hands Lord, that I have committed to you for the rest of life?I think it's harder knowing what your suppose to do with your life and having to wait to do it, than not knowing at all. I itch with it all, I get so anxious. I also know that it God's timing and I have to be patient. I have to take it step by step. He will lead me and I am learning what trusting in Him really means. I think that I know where my heart is but my mind has been in turmoil. My realization is that Satan is the king of discouragement. Our doubt, our debates has been what for? Discouragement! It's time to have an understanding of what is my mind getting in the way of my Calling. Faith and Trust that nothing is impossible with God needs to be my crutch!
Lord take my hands and use them for you, here and where ever you are sending me! Give me the stamina to do what you want me to do, for my health, for a job, for my walk with you and for our calling to serve you. Amen
I think this is my 3rd cold this winter and I'm getting really frustrated. It's made me think about warmer climates. What will it be like to live in an area of the world where it's between 65 & 85 all the time, all year around. I'm thinking about Sierra Leone more and more. The Lord is deffinately making this burden greater. I have started having the mind frame that I am not suppose to be here. Wether it's Africa or not working for the Lord is all I want to do. Oh I know I need to work, but I can't help but read about efforts around the world. Than I wonder when is it going to be me. When are you going to use these hands Lord, that I have committed to you for the rest of life?I think it's harder knowing what your suppose to do with your life and having to wait to do it, than not knowing at all. I itch with it all, I get so anxious. I also know that it God's timing and I have to be patient. I have to take it step by step. He will lead me and I am learning what trusting in Him really means. I think that I know where my heart is but my mind has been in turmoil. My realization is that Satan is the king of discouragement. Our doubt, our debates has been what for? Discouragement! It's time to have an understanding of what is my mind getting in the way of my Calling. Faith and Trust that nothing is impossible with God needs to be my crutch!
Lord take my hands and use them for you, here and where ever you are sending me! Give me the stamina to do what you want me to do, for my health, for a job, for my walk with you and for our calling to serve you. Amen
Sunday, January 29, 2012
"We were made to be Courageous"
We were made to be courageous!
In church today we heard a missionary speak today about 4 things we need to carry with us as we journey through life.
So here is my take on what I heard!
#1 Our Christian Legacy
One of the examples the preacher gave was Charles Wesley. This man wrote many of our Hymns that we sing today. I read a biography on his mother and remember them talking about how she would throw her apron over her head to have alone time with God. When that apron was over her head everyone knew to leave her alone. She had 19 children but only 9 survived to adulthood. It's amazing to me that he got to grow up in a such a house where Charles saw his mother retreat to God everyday no matter the struggles they faced. Taking what he saw everyday he once told someone that God burdened him to write ten lines of praise everyday. He did this everyday for 50 years and in doing so completed over 3,000 hymns. What a legacy that over 300 years later we still are singing his hymns.
Are we doing enough as parents that our children will turn to the Lord and serve Him in everything they do? Are we leading by example to serve the Lord in everything we do? Not only that but can people around us tell that we are different?
#2Pride in our Father
I can't remember what the preacher called #2 but this is what I view what he was telling us. We have this heritage we want to have and pass around to those around us. How do we do this ?by surrounding ourselves with Him. What books do we read? What music do we listen to? I like what he called himself "A world Christian". What he meant is every time any kind of news brief or outside influence is in the home he asks himself 1 of 2 questions. Where can I see God in this situation ? or How can I pray that God makes himself known in this situation?
Are we doing that ? Are we praying for our president and politicians every time they come on TV? Do we pray for the deadly car accident on the news? You understand what I'm getting at don't you? Jesus was in constant communication with God and he always knew what God wanted him to do even if he wasn't comfortable doing it. Now that He set as free from the bondage of sin we have access to that same type of relationship and that is totally awesome to me and a goal of mine. That in every situation I go to him first. The music we listen to , the literature we read and the shows we watch on TV help in starting that state of mind.
#3 No Fear Got God
As Christians the Bible says that living a life for Christ is difficult, that temptations are much more and trials are much more. I know that's because Satin is ever present and he hates that we are God's children. Life is scary and God is ever testing our limits. Fear is everywhere but we do with that fear is what matters. The Greek word for fear is actually more closely translated to the meaning of the word cowardes. What is the opposite of that? Yes courage. Here is my new meaning behind the phrase "Fearing the Lord". Having the understanding that without the Lord we fear and are cowards, but when we have the Lord yes we have fears especially of the unknown but we can be courageous.
#4 Just Do It!!!!!!!
Yeah I think this phrase says it all, but let me explain why this hit me in between the eyes this morning! Rob and I know where we are suppose to be headed and what our purpose is. God took this phrase and screamed it in my ear because I think we've been using everything that's been going on to distract us from His purpose. I can tell you now that we'll be working on that over the next few weeks. We need to be persistent for the Lost. Yeah I have a kids club in my home once a week where 11 children have prayed with me and asked God to lead their lives. At times it humbles me but part of me wants to do more because it's not enough. God has given me a burden like Charles Wesley. I just need to do it!!!! No more putting everything on hold just because of our insecurities.
Time to have faith in my heavenly Father, stand up and be courageous while I take my legacy and be persistent about sharing it with the Lost.
In church today we heard a missionary speak today about 4 things we need to carry with us as we journey through life.
So here is my take on what I heard!
#1 Our Christian Legacy
One of the examples the preacher gave was Charles Wesley. This man wrote many of our Hymns that we sing today. I read a biography on his mother and remember them talking about how she would throw her apron over her head to have alone time with God. When that apron was over her head everyone knew to leave her alone. She had 19 children but only 9 survived to adulthood. It's amazing to me that he got to grow up in a such a house where Charles saw his mother retreat to God everyday no matter the struggles they faced. Taking what he saw everyday he once told someone that God burdened him to write ten lines of praise everyday. He did this everyday for 50 years and in doing so completed over 3,000 hymns. What a legacy that over 300 years later we still are singing his hymns.
Are we doing enough as parents that our children will turn to the Lord and serve Him in everything they do? Are we leading by example to serve the Lord in everything we do? Not only that but can people around us tell that we are different?
#2Pride in our Father
I can't remember what the preacher called #2 but this is what I view what he was telling us. We have this heritage we want to have and pass around to those around us. How do we do this ?by surrounding ourselves with Him. What books do we read? What music do we listen to? I like what he called himself "A world Christian". What he meant is every time any kind of news brief or outside influence is in the home he asks himself 1 of 2 questions. Where can I see God in this situation ? or How can I pray that God makes himself known in this situation?
Are we doing that ? Are we praying for our president and politicians every time they come on TV? Do we pray for the deadly car accident on the news? You understand what I'm getting at don't you? Jesus was in constant communication with God and he always knew what God wanted him to do even if he wasn't comfortable doing it. Now that He set as free from the bondage of sin we have access to that same type of relationship and that is totally awesome to me and a goal of mine. That in every situation I go to him first. The music we listen to , the literature we read and the shows we watch on TV help in starting that state of mind.
#3 No Fear Got God
As Christians the Bible says that living a life for Christ is difficult, that temptations are much more and trials are much more. I know that's because Satin is ever present and he hates that we are God's children. Life is scary and God is ever testing our limits. Fear is everywhere but we do with that fear is what matters. The Greek word for fear is actually more closely translated to the meaning of the word cowardes. What is the opposite of that? Yes courage. Here is my new meaning behind the phrase "Fearing the Lord". Having the understanding that without the Lord we fear and are cowards, but when we have the Lord yes we have fears especially of the unknown but we can be courageous.
#4 Just Do It!!!!!!!
Yeah I think this phrase says it all, but let me explain why this hit me in between the eyes this morning! Rob and I know where we are suppose to be headed and what our purpose is. God took this phrase and screamed it in my ear because I think we've been using everything that's been going on to distract us from His purpose. I can tell you now that we'll be working on that over the next few weeks. We need to be persistent for the Lost. Yeah I have a kids club in my home once a week where 11 children have prayed with me and asked God to lead their lives. At times it humbles me but part of me wants to do more because it's not enough. God has given me a burden like Charles Wesley. I just need to do it!!!! No more putting everything on hold just because of our insecurities.
Time to have faith in my heavenly Father, stand up and be courageous while I take my legacy and be persistent about sharing it with the Lost.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
" I will serve you while I'm waiting" continued
I am so excited that I just figured out how to blog on my I phone. We are still out a computer but now I feel back in the loop. I now feel I need to update you on our journey to the field.
So I decided that if I'm going to serve the Lord on the field,I need to make some changes in my life. So we have kind of put things on hold. A few months ago when Rob was going through all his stuff with his hernias. I slipped on some stairs and twisted my knee. It still bothers me a lot especially in this cold weather. I know that I am way over weight. I never felt it though. I always looked in the mirror and always saw someone fatter than I felt. When we first got to Maryland I was able to run up the stairs. Now since I hurt my knee I feel like an old lady going up and down the stairs. I am starting to feel the affects of my weight for the first time in my life. I now feel every pound every time I take a step, get up from a chair, climb a stair, etc. I came to the realization, how am I suppose to work for the Lord in another country if it hurts to climb stairs? I asked myself what am I doing to myself? I decided to do something about it.
I dont have the 300$ that my mother and others I know are spend a month to loose weight, so I did the only thing I knew to do. I made an appointment to see a doctor. One of the things she suggested was seeing a counselor to see if we can figure out what my relationship with food is and see if we can find another way of coping with stress. Everybody has coping mechanisms and I've discovered that when I am stressed is when I can easily pack on 30 or 40 pounds in a few months. So now I am on a new journey with my therapist. Most people would be like "Meg why are you sharing this? This is personal". Yeah it is but everyone can see that I have a weight problem. I want you all to know that I know I have a problem. There is a lot of women that are big like me and are comfortable with themselves and can feel beautiful and they are beautiful. Me however I am not comfortable in my own skin. That and i no longer feel beautiful and wonder how anyone can view me as such. I am also ready to do something about it. I know that God views me as beautiful but I think it hurts Him to see me hurt. As far as the therapist goes he's helped more than I ever expected. He's asked Rob and I to come In and unload. Which is something we would normally do with a pastor but we don't have one right now. I told him I was scared to write everything down that's happened to us in these last 8 years. When we started to tell our story he was astonished that with what all we've been through. He said he hasn't seen this many trials in any 1 marriage before. That and he probably wouldn't see this many trials in a marriage of 50 years or so. He said you need to decompress "how many people are in your life out side of family that know about everything that's happened to you? I think you need to unload and just have someone to listen". I can't tell you how refreshing that is to hear. Someone to listen? I feel like this could really help. Who knows maybe I'll write a book. God is already revealing a lot to me about the heart of my weight problem! I am however taking one step at a time. You may not see me loose any for a while but we'll see. The motivation is slowly building. Do me a favor don't pity me just smile and say "That's honesty" and then pray for me. Missions is not happening until I can take action for myself and get myself healthier!
So I decided that if I'm going to serve the Lord on the field,I need to make some changes in my life. So we have kind of put things on hold. A few months ago when Rob was going through all his stuff with his hernias. I slipped on some stairs and twisted my knee. It still bothers me a lot especially in this cold weather. I know that I am way over weight. I never felt it though. I always looked in the mirror and always saw someone fatter than I felt. When we first got to Maryland I was able to run up the stairs. Now since I hurt my knee I feel like an old lady going up and down the stairs. I am starting to feel the affects of my weight for the first time in my life. I now feel every pound every time I take a step, get up from a chair, climb a stair, etc. I came to the realization, how am I suppose to work for the Lord in another country if it hurts to climb stairs? I asked myself what am I doing to myself? I decided to do something about it.
I dont have the 300$ that my mother and others I know are spend a month to loose weight, so I did the only thing I knew to do. I made an appointment to see a doctor. One of the things she suggested was seeing a counselor to see if we can figure out what my relationship with food is and see if we can find another way of coping with stress. Everybody has coping mechanisms and I've discovered that when I am stressed is when I can easily pack on 30 or 40 pounds in a few months. So now I am on a new journey with my therapist. Most people would be like "Meg why are you sharing this? This is personal". Yeah it is but everyone can see that I have a weight problem. I want you all to know that I know I have a problem. There is a lot of women that are big like me and are comfortable with themselves and can feel beautiful and they are beautiful. Me however I am not comfortable in my own skin. That and i no longer feel beautiful and wonder how anyone can view me as such. I am also ready to do something about it. I know that God views me as beautiful but I think it hurts Him to see me hurt. As far as the therapist goes he's helped more than I ever expected. He's asked Rob and I to come In and unload. Which is something we would normally do with a pastor but we don't have one right now. I told him I was scared to write everything down that's happened to us in these last 8 years. When we started to tell our story he was astonished that with what all we've been through. He said he hasn't seen this many trials in any 1 marriage before. That and he probably wouldn't see this many trials in a marriage of 50 years or so. He said you need to decompress "how many people are in your life out side of family that know about everything that's happened to you? I think you need to unload and just have someone to listen". I can't tell you how refreshing that is to hear. Someone to listen? I feel like this could really help. Who knows maybe I'll write a book. God is already revealing a lot to me about the heart of my weight problem! I am however taking one step at a time. You may not see me loose any for a while but we'll see. The motivation is slowly building. Do me a favor don't pity me just smile and say "That's honesty" and then pray for me. Missions is not happening until I can take action for myself and get myself healthier!
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