That you my King would die for me?
4 1/2 years ago we embarked on a journey that Rob and I don't wish on our worst enemies (well if we had them). Not very many wives my age can say that they have almost lost their husbands as many times as I have. At this time 5 years ago we were preparing for Roberts sister Erin's wedding. I was 6 months pregnant and we hadn't told any of his family because we didn't want to take away from her day. Ahna was an awesome baby but when she was a couple months old that October Rob started getting sick. He worked for the Gas Co. and was very fit because he had to walk 6 to 10 miles a day as a meter reader. Watching him come home completely exhausted and having the stomache problems and the pain he did was just weird. Heartbreaking. It got to the point where all he did was work and sleep.
In November some new symptoms developed. I remember driving home from church one day and he couldn't get his hand to work to put the turn signal on. By Christmas the pain was almost uncontrollable his hands shook so bad he couldn't pick up a pencil. Christmas night while visiting my sister in northern California the pain was so bad I had to take him to the ER. I vowed that day that no matter the cost I would not break my vow "in sickness and in health." They told him at the hospital that night that he should consider taking a leave of absence from work to see some specialists. His liver was really enlarged and some kidney counts were high. So began our journey of the unknown seeing specialist after specialist. Moving home to be with the parentals to see if he could get better health care.
Work let him transfer from Visalia to Valencia started a new search for what was behind his crazy symptoms that seemed to stump every doctor we saw. Rob started becoming bitter and depressed and started taking Meds to help with the depression. The same thing happened here Doctors continuely ruled stuff out. Multiple Sclerosis and mercury poisoning were a few.
In July I went back to school starting to think that I may watch my husband die and I needed something to support my children. I know that sounded harsh but that was my greatest fear. After awhile I decided that God would not allow him to go undiagnosed. In September he was misdiagnosed as having fibromyalgia. This is when he decide to leave the gas co. and hang up his shirt because he never thought he'd work again. He still didn't play with his kids or dote on us like he used to as a wife I saw that he didn't see himself as a man really. The pride in caring for your family is something that can eat at a man if he can't do it. His depression worsened and the Meds were changed which had an opposite affect and one evening he told me he wanted to throw himself off the cliff at the back of my parents property. Friends and pastors were called to talk him down. I never prayed so hard in my life. This drug that made a wife's worse nightmare almost a reality was Cymbalta.
That January as an attempt to pull my husband back to his family I did everything in my power to make his birthday the best 25th ever. I secretly flew in his mother from MD with the help of his sisters. Went to Disneyland with her and the boys. I threw a surprise party with 45 people there that had been praying for him. Little did we know that he would get his diagnoses just 2 months later.
While his mom was there he had developed a cyst at the bottom of his spine. It got infected and needed to be removed. The surgery was scheduled for the last week in February. He went in fine he came out sicker than a dog . Since I was the student nurse I got the lovely job of packing and cleaning the giant extra hole at the top of Robs butt. After a few days I realized that robs condition had worsened, something about his recovery was not right. He saw the surgeon a couple times and the surgeon was frustrated with the way the hole wasn't closing. A couple more weeks and more frustration. I was sitting in class one day going over what diabetes does to the central nervous system. It hit me like an anvil dropped on my head. I rushed home and asked him how many times he'd gone to the bathroom in the last hour. "3 or 4"
How much water have you drunk today? "6 of these" when I counted, the amount of water was 3 gallons. Are you still thirsty? "yeah it won't go away". Your really sick Rob I need to take you to the ER. When we had gotten to the ER and they triaged him I tried so hard not to cry when he stood on the scale and he had lost almost 35 lbs in the 3 weeks since his surgery. I look back now and remember how ashamed he was when both of us and the bed would be soaked because of night sweats and I'd have to change the sheets almost every morning. They did a bunch of tests and the doctor comes in and says "dude you have diabetes" he looked at me and said "mam if you had waited any longer you could have been a widow". Nothing prepares you for the reaction on your husbands face when he hears that his worse nightmare has just become a reality.
This I just the first part of the journey but why am I writing it now? Because Rob hung up his shirt right? He thought he'd never get to the point where he could work full-time ever again. He starts his first full time job in almost 5 years this next week. I look at him and he's more than just a man to me He's the one God gave me to love through sickness and health. I think the hardest part of the story has yet to come. I guess you'll have to check back in to find out how Rob got from the ER to the interview he had today.
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