" I will serve you while I'm waiting" continued

I am so excited that I just figured out how to blog on my I phone. We are still out a computer but now I feel back in the loop. I now feel I need to update you on our journey to the field.

So I decided that if I'm going to serve the Lord on the field,I need to make some changes in my life. So we have kind of put things on hold. A few months ago when Rob was going through all his stuff with his hernias. I slipped on some stairs and twisted my knee. It still bothers me a lot especially in this cold weather. I know that I am way over weight. I never felt it though. I always looked in the mirror and always saw someone fatter than I felt. When we first got to Maryland I was able to run up the stairs. Now since I hurt my knee I feel like an old lady going up and down the stairs. I am starting to feel the affects of my weight for the first time in my life. I now feel every pound every time I take a step, get up from a chair, climb a stair, etc. I came to the realization, how am I suppose to work for the Lord in another country if it hurts to climb stairs? I asked myself what am I doing to myself? I decided to do something about it.

I dont have the 300$ that my mother and others I know are spend a month to loose weight, so I did the only thing I knew to do. I made an appointment to see a doctor. One of the things she suggested was seeing a counselor to see if we can figure out what my relationship with food is and see if we can find another way of coping with stress. Everybody has coping mechanisms and I've discovered that when I am stressed is when I can easily pack on 30 or 40 pounds in a few months. So now I am on a new journey with my therapist. Most people would be like "Meg why are you sharing this? This is personal". Yeah it is but everyone can see that I have a weight problem. I want you all to know that I know I have a problem. There is a lot of women that are big like me and are comfortable with themselves and can feel beautiful and they are beautiful. Me however I am not comfortable in my own skin. That and i no longer feel beautiful and wonder how anyone can view me as such. I am also ready to do something about it. I know that God views me as beautiful but I think it hurts Him to see me hurt. As far as the therapist goes he's helped more than I ever expected. He's asked Rob and I to come In and unload. Which is something we would normally do with a pastor but we don't have one right now. I told him I was scared to write everything down that's happened to us in these last 8 years. When we started to tell our story he was astonished that with what all we've been through. He said he hasn't seen this many trials in any 1 marriage before. That and he probably wouldn't see this many trials in a marriage of 50 years or so. He said you need to decompress "how many people are in your life out side of family that know about everything that's happened to you? I think you need to unload and just have someone to listen". I can't tell you how refreshing that is to hear. Someone to listen? I feel like this could really help. Who knows maybe I'll write a book. God is already revealing a lot to me about the heart of my weight problem! I am however taking one step at a time. You may not see me loose any for a while but we'll see. The motivation is slowly building. Do me a favor don't pity me just smile and say "That's honesty" and then pray for me. Missions is not happening until I can take action for myself and get myself healthier!