Life is hard let's face it. They say that God only gives you what you can handle but do you ever feel that God must think a lot more highly of you than you do of yourself? I'm a mom with 4 kids all of life is bit more complicated with 4 kids in tow. It takes longer to do everything and since Jason was born I was always 15 minutes late to everywhere. I wouldn't give up being 15 minutes late for anything I love my children they are awesome! Today they actually made my life a little easier by keeping themselves occupied. Rob has not 1 but 2 hernias in the most painful of places. Due to us moving and trying to get insurance here in MD he has to wait to have surgery. So our life as we know it is at a stand still. I have been having trouble with a broken tooth that keeps abscessing regardless of antibiotics and the insurance issue is a problem there as well. It's just ironic that it all happened right after we got here and there is nothing we can do but wait.
Today's Rain was Jack getting hives after eating 3 shrimp. Well if anyone get's an allergy it's him, he is a lot like his aunt Erin in the allergy department. Rob can't do anything it hurts to get up and walk to the kitchen not to mention bending over.
I feel like the thunderstorms that happen here. It doesn't just drizzle for awhile with it being overcast and then dwindle away. Here, the clouds build up, roll in, and dump for an hour. I've never ever seen it rain this hard in my life. The thunder that explodes overhead and the lightning that flashes? It makes everyone in the house go silent. The house shakes and the sky (at night) turns white for a split second. The other night that's what my emotions did, when Rob was sent home from the hospital with just some pain meds. I lost it. It wasn't necessarily loud but boy did I dump and light up. The tears sure rained down and what calmed my storm? Rob whispering in my ear "I don't want to be going through this but I'm glad I'm going through this with you." What keeps my inner storm calm? Robby (the next day) climbing up in my lap giving me a kiss and saying "Mommy I love you". It's crazy to feel God's presence in the arms of my 7 year old.
I know God doesn't give us more than we can handle. He also gives us ways out and we're watching for them. But He also gives us times where we break so that we can rely more on Him instead of ourselves.
In brokenness we are strong in Him. I am learning to praise Him for my times of brokenness.
Dear Lord,
Thank You for the Rain. Without storms we wouldn't know what calm is. I thank You for the smell of Your creation after a storm, in it's freshness and newness, after receiving a much needed refreshing drink of Your grace and love. Thank You for the arms of my husband and the arms of my children as small as they are they help me feel the physical presence of Your grace and love.
In Your Sons Name,
Amen
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