Normally I write my blog entries when I can't sleep in the middle of the night. Today however I'm at my in-laws doing a couple loads of laundry before this hurricane hits and the chaos starts. I am not looking forward to this hurricane. I never thought I would go through an earthquake and a hurricane in the same week. We were at a crab feast last night and everyone was getting calls from our power companies with automated messages to expect power outages for at least 24 hours starting Saturday evening and into Sunday afternoon. I can take rain and I can take earthquakes, but I fear wind. I've always hated wind. It's something that makes me sick to think about it. Growing up in southern California Santa Ana winds are inevitable, but I was never able to sleep through it especially when it whistled around the windows. So there is a lot of anxiety and I may be crying with my kids tonight if they can't sleep either. I actually told Rob last night : "When this thing hits I need you to man up and be my protector. You've been through this, I haven't and I'm scared. You know my fear of wind." He seemed understanding.
All this talk of wind and rain and Rob brings back a memory. 10 years and about 3 weeks ago or so. I was on a mission trip to Kenya. I was almost 16 and had vowed to God that I wouldn't date anymore. That I would have a courtship with the man he wanted me to marry and that I would only look within the church for someone to spend my life with. I would focus on school and start working on myself and wait a couple more years before I start looking at boys again and I would wait until I was spiritually ready to look for a mate. Basically I vowed to not casually date and I asked for God to bring him into my life when He thought I was ready. Little did I know when I had made that vow that God had placed him right in front of me.
I felt close to Rob like a brother just like all the other brothers on the trip. A couple weeks before we were to leave I started feeling things that I didn't like because I had told God I would wait on Him. I kept thinking things like "he's going to make a good husband for some one" or " I hope the man I marry is going to be that good with kids". I felt like I was being plagued because the feelings only grew and so I did the only thing I knew and I prayed. I asked God to take away these feelings. I wrote Rob a letter and told him my heart and to pray as well. He wrote me back and told me that he was feeling the same way and even told me he wandered what it would be like to kiss me. He said he would pray as well. We got in trouble for "pairing off" aka spending too much time together even in a group. A couple days after the letter and not talking to each other we had a bad storm. Thunder, lighting, rain,and Wind. We were getting ready to leave in a few days and they told us that we could sleep in tents slumber party style if we wanted to spend extra time with friends we made. I found myself alone in a tent by myself, I figured it would be nice to have some time to think. I had no idea the storm would be so bad, my tent started falling apart due to the wind and it was caving in around me.I remember the tent bending in a way that the ceiling almost touched my face. I remember going through who all was in the tents and thinking "there is no room for me... all the girl tents are full". Right before my tent callapsed I jumped out and took off running and ran into the first boys tent I saw.
Robert's! He shared the tent with Tyson, another young man I had viewed as a brother. I scared the heebeegeebee's out of both of them because I dived in and landed right between them. I was soaking wet and sobbing from fear. Rob stroked my drenched hair until the sobbing slowed and he leaned forward and whispered "who are you?" I laugh now when I think back. I was faced down with my face burried in a pile of someone's laundry and it was sooo dark. I said "it's me". When lightning flashed he saw who it was and pulled me into his arms. After I stopped crying completely he climbed out of his sleeping bag and told me to climb in and gave me his sweatshirt. I told him my tent had collapsed and how much I hated wind. After Tyson fell back to sleep we stayed up and talked into the wee ours of the morning. Before I drifted off to sleep he leaned forward and whispered in my ear " I have never told any girl this before but.......... I think I'm in love with you." I answered him with an "I know I love you".
He told me later that he had set his alarm to wake me up before a leader found me in a boys tent. He couldn't go to sleep however and sat in his tent and watched me sleep. As I left that morning he kissed me lightly and said "I love you" I said "I love you". Than from no where Tyson says "I love you too Meggan". I tried so hard not to laugh, I was afraid I'd wake the leaders. The leader found me standing in front of my tent just a few moments later. He said he'd get the boys to put it back up, but never asked me any questions.
It's crazy to think that 10 years ago we started our lives together with a storm and we have been facing storms of other kinds ever since. With God as our Rock, 10 years later with 4 kids and 4 fish we'll be facing another storm that will drive me into his arms again. This time knowing that his arms will be around me "till death due us part" and with no hesitation whatsoever, and only with 10 times more love than those first "I love yous".
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