Mama Bear post 1

For those of you interested and praying for my "No yelling for a year", I want to explain how this all started. I grew up with a mom that yelled most of my childhood years. In this case old habits die hard. The first parenting advice I remember wasn't for me and I wasn't even a parent yet. It was my dad telling my sister that when she yelled a threat she had to follow through or the kids figure out that your not really gonna do it. This was my first insight on how yelling really wasn't good parenting. I was researching other forms of parenting recently and came across the orange Rhino challenge and was in awe. I wanted to try it because she was so me. I hate yelling and more and more have ended up apologizing to my kids for it. I guess God has made me more aware of myself because I asked him to help me with this. Sunday morning getting ready for church I started screaming at Jason because he had peed his pants and lost a shoe while changing his clothes. All of a sudden I became light headed and dizzy, my heart started racing. My blood pressure was sky rocketing and I sat down on the stairs and thought to myself I can't do this anymore. It was the last draw I had to change for my children and not just the ones I have but the one I'm carrying as well. My health doesn't need the added stress. This has been something I have always hated about myself and quite frankly Robert hates it as well. I have tried for years to stop but I just never knew how.
So after this happened dwith Jason, later Sunday evening I sat down with my kids and asked them what animal I look like when I'm angry. After a dinosaur and a lion we voted and chose Mama Bear. Why did we name my angry self? So my kids can worn each other and myself that I'm getting ugly and they have a chance to fix what behavior they need to as well as let me know that I need to walk away or take a deep breath.
So how did my first day go yesterday? Pretty well I stopped my self 3x from screaming. I lost it once I started choking on rice that I was eating for lunch and needed water and I yelled at Robby and Robert when I was dying and needed water (and they were taking forever! ) I apologized. Robby gave me a hug and said "oh well it's alright mom your choking is what scared me".
With my non yelling attitude yesterday I received way more thank yous and I Love Yous and that is so worth it. I'm so glad I decided to do this. I know it's going to be hard. In fact I think it's the hardest thing I have ever done. I know I will have days of failure but that's what is great about this challenge Tomorrow is a new day and you can start over everyday. I'm looking forward to going months without yelling. Thank you so much for following my journey hopefully this will inspire other moms. I don't just want to be a yell free mom in public, I want to be a yell free mom at home too. I hate fake people I don't want to be a fake person. I love my children and they deserve to have a real mom. If anybody has a bible verse that I can use as a reminder to myself please pass it along :) Thank you for your prayers.

Meg